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Ariane DeVere
Sherlock fic: The Click of the K 
5th-Mar-2011 02:10 pm
Benedict - Metro
Title: The Click of the K
Author: Ariane DeVere
Rating: PG maybe, for some snogging
Characters: John, Sherlock
Warnings: Pure crack, as usual
Disclaimer: Sherlock belongs to way more powerful and wealthy people than me.

It’s a 221B (221 words with the final word beginning with ‘b’).

Inspired by the way that Sherlock occasionally loudly clicks the ‘k’ at the end of words – “Wounded in action; suntan ... Afghanistan or IraQ”; “Bad news for brain worK”; and “Not much cop, this caring larK”. (Other examples may be available.)

The Click of the K

It’s only recently that John has begun to react in this way to one of Sherlock’s idiosyncrasies, but his reaction becomes more pronounced as time passes and Sherlock finds it fascinating to watch how John’s pupils momentarily dilate whenever he pointedly and loudly clicks the ‘k’ at the end of a word.

Why else do you think that the fridge is always empty of everyday essentials? It isn’t that Sherlock uses them in experiments; he deliberately gets rid of them just so that he can step well inside John’s personal space, gaze soulfully into his eyes, lower his voice to cello-jaguar pitch and softly tell him, “John, we appear to be out of mil...K.”

So it really shouldn’t be a surprise – but nevertheless is – when John finally responds to Sherlock’s lame attempts at seduction. As Sherlock looms over him, locks his gaze onto him and intensely informs him, “We need more fruitca...KE. Oh, and garli...C,” John frantically seizes his shirt and groans, “Sherlock!” and isn’t that a surprise – Sherlock isn’t the only one who can make a ‘k’ sound good. But before there’s time to analyse that news, John starts snogging him like they’re going to ban it tomorrow. Sherlock gasps, trying to catalogue everything he’s feeling, but John’s tongue slips inside his mouth and Sherlock’s mind rather inconveniently goes blan...


Talking of minds going blan...K, why is it that when you’re actively trying to think of foodstuffs other than milk that end with a ‘k’ sound, you can’t think of a single thing and initially you can only come up with really unconvincing suggestions like “haddock” or “cheesecake” (not really the kind of thing you’re likely to find in the boys’ kitchen, methinks) (though the temptation to use “spotted dick” was briefly overwhelming ...)? I’ve spent hours on Tesco’s website (other supermarket websites are available) looking at lists of food and consequently I’m now bloody starving!

5th-Mar-2011 02:27 pm (UTC)
I didn't think about that quirK until you pointed it out. It is kind of sexy. Fun fiC! :)
6th-Mar-2011 01:20 am (UTC)
Why, thanK you!
5th-Mar-2011 02:34 pm (UTC)
I'm gonna be uncreative and say:



Edited at 2011-03-05 02:34 pm (UTC)
6th-Mar-2011 01:20 am (UTC)
I appreciate your remarK! ;-)
5th-Mar-2011 02:38 pm (UTC) - Love it!
Oh, that is so true, about the clicking K, why have I never noticed that before?! Brilliant :D

I am totally in awe of being able to tell a story in so few words, that's really clever, and such a sweet and adorable story too.

Love the 'snogging like it's going to be banned tomorrow', but I think my fave bit is the ending - very, very good.

Your author's note also made me chortle... spotted dick indeed :D

Great stuff Ari, xxx
6th-Mar-2011 01:24 am (UTC) - Re: Love it!
Wow, thanks Verity. I'm totally in awe of being praised by someone who can produce tens of thousands of words, and only wish that I could manage that instead of the occasional drabble!

Thank you, honey!

Ari x
(Deleted comment)
5th-Mar-2011 03:26 pm (UTC) - Benedict Cumberbatch and clicking /k/s
Someone who attended the recording of the Christmas Cabin Pressure episode - "Molokai" - wrote that after Benedict mispronounced one of his lines, he pronounced it in an exaggerated way like this on the retake. (He had said 'ducks' when he was trying to say 'ducts', and stressed the 'T' very clearly on the retake.)

On the recording of "Limerick" (another Cabin Pressure episode), he stressed the final 'p' in 'Patek Philippe' in an exaggerated way.

So I think it may not be specific to clicking 'k's, but possibly to hard 'k', 't', 'p' sounds that he might tend to omit if he lost focus.

Edited at 2011-03-05 03:28 pm (UTC)
6th-Mar-2011 01:30 am (UTC) - Re: Benedict Cumberbatch and clicking /k/s
It may all be part of Benedict's speech impediment causing him to over-emphasise certain letters. I wonder if that's why he couldn't pronounce Miss Wenceslas' name correctly twice (saying "Wencleslas" instead). I personally suspect, however, that he deliberately clicked those 'k's as a Sherlockian affectation.
6th-Mar-2011 01:26 am (UTC)
Never resist the urge to listen to Benedict, it's not good for you!
5th-Mar-2011 02:57 pm (UTC)
This amused me to an extraordinary degree. I'm going to be grinning for hours!
6th-Mar-2011 01:30 am (UTC)
Happy to have amused you! Thanks for commenting.
5th-Mar-2011 03:01 pm (UTC)
First it was the thpiders, now it's the Ks ... damn this fandom, you guys are turning EVERYTHING SHERLOCK DOES into a kink ... and I fucking love it.
6th-Mar-2011 01:32 am (UTC)
Ah yes, fandom never fails to find an excuse to kinkify every little affectation!
5th-Mar-2011 03:25 pm (UTC)
gaze soulfully into his eyes, lower his voice to cello-jaguar pitch and softly tell him, “John, we appear to be out of mil...K.”

Bahahaha, you genius XD

6th-Mar-2011 01:33 am (UTC)
Hee! Thank you!
5th-Mar-2011 03:30 pm (UTC)
That you wrote something so fun and met the specifics of the challenge,too? 221 words/last beginning with B/ and then actually added on yet more so that the last word actually reinforces the topic of piece? God, you are clever! :)

Edited at 2011-03-05 03:31 pm (UTC)
6th-Mar-2011 01:34 am (UTC)
Wow, thank you! I really appreciate your comment!
5th-Mar-2011 03:53 pm (UTC)
I'll never be able to watch SherlocK again without being turned on by the K's. THANKS!!
6th-Mar-2011 01:35 am (UTC)
You're very welcome - glad to be of service!!
5th-Mar-2011 04:35 pm (UTC)
Love it! Really did :)

This isn't part of the story, but it made me laugh so hard! ^^ : "I’ve spent hours on Tesco’s website (other supermarket websites are available)"
6th-Mar-2011 01:37 am (UTC)
Thank you so much!

Ever since the boys kept saying, "Other ----- are available," all through the commentary of The Great Game, I can't help but include the line in almost everything I say or write!

Edited at 2011-03-06 01:37 am (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
6th-Mar-2011 01:39 am (UTC)
I love cheesecake too, but couldn't really imagine John picking any up on the supermarket run!
5th-Mar-2011 07:25 pm (UTC)
I had watched the "IraKKK" scene several times just to watch Benedict put his entire jaw into that last "K" sound.

And now you've taken all that sexy and written a very seductive story!

And my heart goes cracKKK ;)
6th-Mar-2011 01:40 am (UTC)
He really does, doesn't he?

Thanks for commenting!
5th-Mar-2011 08:10 pm (UTC)
Oh dear, now you've ruined me for K sounds :P Cello-jaguar pitch = teehee.

Spotted dick would have been perfect, if highly unlikely :D
6th-Mar-2011 01:41 am (UTC)
I just had to get the "jaguar in a cello" line in somewhere!
6th-Mar-2011 11:45 am (UTC)
This has caused much unexpected hilarity! The fic itself is all kinds of brilliant and already had me giggling ... but then your a/n "spotted dick"? Three paragraphs of perfection with an additional helping of giggles. Well done :-)
6th-Mar-2011 01:08 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much for commenting. Glad you enjoyed it!
14th-Mar-2011 10:16 pm (UTC)
I had a hysteriK reading this, I'll have you know. And wish, very greatly, you had used spotted dick. So very greatly.
14th-Mar-2011 10:43 pm (UTC)
I blame it on the word limit myself, cos then I would have been forced to 222 words. Nothing to do with the fact that, unlike you, I do not have a dirty mind. Not at all. *nods convincingly*
30th-Mar-2011 11:31 pm (UTC)
I just read this again. And it made me giddy. Again. This fic. Oh this fic is for the win.
16th-Apr-2011 06:37 pm (UTC)

3rd-Oct-2011 09:02 pm (UTC)
Fantasi...C and so C...ute :)
4th-Oct-2011 04:09 am (UTC)
Must now rewatch Sherlock and look for this quirk.
And picture John snogging him each and every time. You win!
11th-Nov-2011 07:33 pm (UTC)
30th-May-2012 02:14 pm (UTC)
It's so good, so good, so good. Wow. I usually find 221B fics a bit short, but this was so absolutely perfect.
17th-Nov-2012 06:52 am (UTC)
I now think of this every time I record podfiC, and I feel a frisson of delight every time I find a spot to work in a cliCK. (Makes certain, um, naughty words sound so much better ...)
9th-Jun-2013 04:02 pm (UTC)
"...lower his voice to cello-jaguar pitch..."


(Would SherlocK himself be considered foodstuff? *grin*)
10th-Jun-2013 08:48 am (UTC)
I approve of this suggestion. *nods*
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