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Ariane DeVere
Sherlock Transcript: “The Blind Banker” (part 4) 
13th-Sep-2012 06:57 pm
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Sherlock, Season 1, episode 2 transcript: The Blind Banker, part 4



Polite request: If you take extracts from this transcript for use elsewhere, and especially if you repost my own words, it would be kind if you would acknowledge the source and/or give a link back to this transcript. Thanks.


Sherlock, Season 1, episode 2 transcript: The Blind Banker, part 4

Return to Part 1 / Return to Part 2 / Return to Part 3

Many thanks to anarion, who kindly checked and corrected my very rusty German; and to pilikia18, who worked out the line that neither of us could hear.


221B. Sherlock leads John and Sarah into the living room and immediately stares at the pictures over the fireplace as he takes his coat off.
JOHN: They’ll be back in China by tomorrow.
SHERLOCK: No, they won’t leave without what they came for. We need to find their hide-out; the rendezvous.
(He walks closer to the photos, staring at them intensely. John also gazes at the pictures while Sarah hovers nearby, forgotten by the pair of them. Sherlock runs his fingers over the main picture of the painted brick wall.)
SHERLOCK: Somewhere in this message it must tell us.
(He and John fall silent. Sarah looks at them for a moment, then realises that she is surplus to requirements.)
SARAH: Well, I think perhaps I should leave you to it.
JOHN: No, no, you don’t have to go ... (he looks round at Sherlock) ... does she? (He turns back to Sarah.) You can stay.
SHERLOCK (simultaneously): Yes, it would be better to study if you left now.
(He looks round pointedly at Sarah, while John throws a dark look at him before turning back to her.)
JOHN: He’s kidding. Please stay if you’d like.
(Sarah looks nervously towards Sherlock, who has already turned back to the photographs. She smiles awkwardly and tries what she thinks is a friendly approach.)
SARAH: Is it just me, or is anyone else starving?
SHERLOCK (sighing and closing his eyes in exasperation): Ooh, God.

Shortly afterwards, John opens the fridge to find it almost empty apart from a couple of bottles, a can, and what might well be an eyeball lying on a shelf. He sighs.
In the living room, Sherlock has sat down at the dining table which is covered with photos, notes and drawings of various pictograms. As he rummages through them, Sarah stands nearby, looking at all the pictures stuck to the mirror.

SARAH: So this is what you do, you and John. You solve puzzles for a living.
SHERLOCK (tetchily, not looking round): Consulting detective.
SARAH: Oh.
(In the kitchen, John is searching through cupboards. He twists the lid off a jar of pickled onions, sniffs the contents and recoils at the smell.)
JOHN: Oh!
(He puts the lid back on and continues his search.
Sarah has walked over to Sherlock and is looking over his shoulder. She points to the paper he’s looking at.)

SARAH: What are these squiggles?
(Sherlock raises his head, his face set as if he’s trying very hard not to kill her.)
SHERLOCK (still not looking round at her): They’re numbers. An ancient Chinese dialect.
SARAH: Oh, right! Yeah, well, of course I should have known that(!)
(In the kitchen John has found a small bag of Wotsits [a brand of cheese puffs] and is emptying them into a bowl. Mrs Hudson comes to the door and speaks quietly.)
MRS HUDSON: Ooh-ooh!
(John looks up and his face fills with grateful delight as she comes in carrying a tray covered with a tea towel.)
MRS HUDSON (whispering): I’ve done punch, and a bowl of nibbles.
(She puts the tray on the table and takes off the tea towel to reveal a jug of punch with slices of fruit floating on top, two glasses, a bowl of crisps and another bowl presumably containing some dip.)
JOHN (softly): Mrs Hudson, you’re a saint!
MRS HUDSON (whispering): If it was Monday, I’d have been to the supermarket!
JOHN (whispering): No; thank you! Thank you!
(Back in the living room, Sherlock is just about to commit murder as Sarah picks up the photograph of the brick wall which Dimmock had brought back sealed in an evidence bag. He glares at her in utter fury and then turns his head away, his teeth bared.)
SARAH (oblivious to his rage): So these numbers – it’s a cipher.
SHERLOCK (tightly): Exactly.
SARAH: And each pair of numbers is a word.
(Sherlock’s head slowly lifts.)
SHERLOCK: How did you know that?
(For the first time he turns and meets her eyes.)
SARAH: Well, two words have already been translated, here.
(She puts the picture down on the desk and points. Sherlock takes the photo from her and stares at it.)
SHERLOCK: John.
JOHN: Mmm?
(He looks round from the kitchen table.)
SHERLOCK (standing up): John, look at this.
(He takes the photo out of the evidence bag as John comes out of the kitchen.)
SHERLOCK: Soo Lin at the museum – she started to translate the code for us. We didn’t see it!
(Written in fine pen, a word has been written across each of the first two sets of symbols on the photograph. Sherlock reads them out.)
SHERLOCK: “NINE,” “MILL.”
JOHN (squinting at the photo): Does that mean ‘millions’?
SHERLOCK (thoughtfully): Nine million quid. For what?
(He turns and goes over to where he had dumped his coat and scarf.)
SHERLOCK: We need to know the end of this sentence.
JOHN: Where are you going?
SHERLOCK (putting on his coat): To the museum; to the restoration room.
(He grimaces in exasperation at himself.)
SHERLOCK: Oh, we must have been staring right at it!
JOHN: At-at what?
SHERLOCK: The book, John. The book – the key to cracking the cipher!
(He brandishes the photo at John.)
SHERLOCK: Soo Lin used it to do this! Whilst we were running around the gallery, she started to translate the code. It must be on her desk.
(And he’s gone, hurrying out the door.)

Out on Baker Street, a man and woman are walking along the road. Obviously tourists, they are consulting the London A-Z and looking around. Sherlock bursts out of the door of 221B, running towards the kerb to hail a passing black cab.

SHERLOCK: Taxi!
(As he sweeps past the tourists, he brushes past hard enough to break the man’s hold on the book, which falls to the ground. The man yells at him indignantly in German.)
TOURIST: Hey, du! Siehst du nicht wo du hingehst? [Hey, you! Why don’t you look where you’re going?]
(Sherlock turns back and picks up the book, handing it back to the man.)
SHERLOCK: Entschuldigen Sie, bitte. [Forgive me, please.]
TOURIST (snarkily, snatching the book back): Ja, danke(!) [Yeah, thanks(!)]
(He turns away, putting his arm around his wife and still bitching.)
TOURIST: Und dann sagen die, dass die Engländer höflich sind! [And they say the English are polite!]
{Oi, you grumpy git, Sherlock was incredibly polite when he apologised to you. You’re lucky he doesn’t smack you in the face and then mug you in a moment. And if he doesn’t, I will.}
(Sherlock turns and raises his arm to the cab again but it has already driven past. He grunts in exasperation and walks down the road, looking over his shoulder to check traffic coming from behind him. After a few yards, he stop and turns back again, grunting angrily a second time when no cabs magically materialise for him. Looking up and down the road, he sees an Asian couple, possibly father and daughter, standing at the corner over the road and consulting an A-Z as they too try to work out their route. Sherlock’s eyes narrow, and he flashes back in his mind to walking across Lukis’ living room and looking at a pile of books and papers on a table. The London A-Z was the top book on the pile. He flashes back further into the past and remembers seeing a pile of books in Van Coon’s living room. The third book down on the pile was the London A-Z. Then he remembers turning around from the crates in his own living room and staring at his bookcase.)

SHERLOCK (in flashback): A book that everybody would own.
(His memories move on to him smiling at Soo Lin after he handed her the teapot in the restoration room. On the table was a London A-Z.
In the present, Sherlock’s mouth opens in startled realisation and he breaks into a run, chasing back towards the German couple.)

SHERLOCK (shouting): Please, wait! Bitte! [Please!]
(The tourists turn back and frown in confusion as he hurries toward them.)
MALE TOURIST: Was wollt er? Was will er? [{Anarion says that the first sentence makes no sense at all, but the second sentence translates to:} What does he want?]
(Sherlock runs up to them and snatches the A-Z from the man’s hands and turns away, looking down at the book.)
TOURIST: Hey, du! Was macht du? [Hey, you! What are you doing?]
SHERLOCK (turning back to him momentarily): Minute! [{This loosely translates as} Wait a minute!]
TOURIST (angrily): Gib mir doch mein Buch zurück! [Give me back my book!]
(Ignoring him, Sherlock turns his back on the couple again and opens the book. Waving his hand in exasperation at the crazy Englander, the man puts his arm around his wife and they walk away.)

Upstairs in 221B, John and Sarah have relocated to the kitchen. John is sitting at the side table and Sarah is standing nearby.

SARAH: Yeah! No, absolutely. I mean, well, a quiet night in’s just-just what the doctor ordered.
JOHN (softly): Ha-ha-ha(!)
SARAH: Er, I mean, I’d love to go out of an evening and wrestle a few Chinese gangsters, you know, generally, but a girl can get too much.
(John has been giggling silently as she speaks and now he nods in agreement.)
JOHN: No, okay.
(They smile at each other, then she looks away, laughing in embarrassment.)
JOHN: Hmm. Um, shall we get a takeaway?
SARAH: Yeah!
(John nods and gets up to find a menu.)

On the street, Sherlock is flicking through the pages of the A-Z.

SHERLOCK: Page fifteen, entry one. Page fifteen, entry one ...
(He has turned to the correct page and looks at the first entry on that index page. It reads “Deadmans Lane NW9.” He lifts his head.)
SHERLOCK: Dead man. You were threatening to kill them.
(He flashes back to the message sprayed across Sir William’s office, across the library shelf and across the statue in the library.)
SHERLOCK: It’s the first cipher.
(He takes the photograph of the message sprayed on the brick wall out of his coat pocket and unfolds it. With the first two words already translated, he looks at the third pair of symbols and then starts flicking to the correct page in the book.)
SHERLOCK: Thirty-seven, nine; thirty-seven, nine ...
[Okay, now your transcriber is getting peeved, because in close-ups of the photo, both now and earlier, it clearly shows that the next pair is numbered “36 37.” But who am I to question the accuracy of the scriptwriter and/or the people who produced the photo? *insert eye roll here* Anyway ...]
(The appropriate entry on that page reads “Fore St EC2.” Sherlock gets out a pen and writes “FOR” over the relevant symbols on the photo.)

SHERLOCK: Nine mill ... for ...

In the kitchen, Sarah has sat down on the seat that John vacated and is taking off her jacket. John has picked up the jug of punch and is filling the glasses. Someone knocks on the front door downstairs.
JOHN: Ooh, blimey, that was quick. I’ll just pop down.
(He hands her one of the glasses as he walks towards the kitchen door.)
SARAH: Do you want me to lay the table?
(John looks round at the kitchen table which is covered with Sherlock’s paperwork and experiments.)
JOHN: Um, eat off trays?
SARAH: Yeah.
JOHN: Yeah!

On the street, Sherlock is still translating the symbols.
SHERLOCK: Sixty, thirty-five.
[And yes ... *weary sigh* ... the photo says “70 95.” How the hell he ever managed to translate the damned thing correctly is a mystery to me!]
(On the relevant page, the appropriate entry reads “Jade Cl. E16.”)

SHERLOCK: Jade. (He writes on the photograph as he says the word again.) Jade.

John opens the front door and smiles at the man standing on the doorstep, who is wearing a jacket with the hood pulled up.
JOHN: Sorry to keep you. (Rummaging in his trouser pocket) How much d’you want?
CHINESE MAN: Do you have it?
JOHN (looking around blankly): What?
CHINESE MAN: Do you have the treasure?
JOHN: I don’t understand.
(The man coshes John around the left side of his head with a pistol. John falls to the floor.)

On the street, Sherlock turns to the page for the final word. Finding the correct entry, he writes “TRAMWAY” onto the photograph and then reads the whole message aloud.

SHERLOCK: “NINE MILL FOR JADE PIN DRAGON DEN BLACK ... (he raises his head and stares ahead of him) ... TRAMWAY.”

In the kitchen of the flat there’s no sign of Sarah. The overhead suspended neon light is swaying gently back and forth. Two trays are on the table, each containing a clean plate, cutlery and a glass of punch. Downstairs, the front door slams and Sherlock’s voice can be heard.
SHERLOCK: John! John! I’ve got it!
(He runs in through the kitchen door, sees nobody there and runs into the living room, brandishing the A-Z.)
SHERLOCK: The cipher! The book! It’s the London A to Z that they’re using...
(He trails off before he can finish the last word, staring in shock when he sees that yellow paint has been sprayed across the living room windows. On the left-hand window is the sort-of upside down eight with an almost horizontal line above it. On the right-hand window is the single almost horizontal slash. Together they spell out “DEAD MAN.” There is no sign of John or Sarah. Sherlock stares at the paint in horror.)
[And hey, Sherlock baby, I love you to bits, but you were standing just a few yards away from 221B and facing towards the flat while you were translating the symbols. Now, I know you get engrossed in your work an’ all, but how come you never saw someone knocking at the door or any of the ensuing shenanigans while an unconscious John and Sarah were carried out of the building right under your nose?!]

John regains consciousness sitting on a chair somewhere dark. A fire is burning in a dustbin behind him. He slowly raises his head. There is a bleeding cut on his left temple. As he grimaces in pain, the voice of the Opera Singer comes out of the dim tunnel in front of him.

OPERA SINGER: “A book is like a magic garden carried in your pocket.”
(Wincing, John turns his head to the left and sees Sarah sitting on another chair with a gag in her mouth. She looks round to him, terrified. Ahead of them is the Chinese woman who he saw photographing him and who was watching him and Sherlock on Hungerford Bridge. Despite the darkness she is still wearing her dark sunglasses. She walks towards him and we now see that they are in an abandoned tunnel. There are two Chinese men standing behind the approaching woman, and a couple of other fires are burning to illuminate the area. A few feet ahead of where John and Sarah are tied to their chairs by their hands and feet is a large object covered with cloth. The woman raises her sunglasses to the top of her head and looks down at John.)
OPERA SINGER: Chinese proverb, Mr Holmes.
(John looks at her, startled.)
JOHN: I ... I’m not Sherlock Holmes.
OPERA SINGER (smiling humourlessly): Forgive me if I do not take your word for it.
(She reaches down and pulls open his jacket, rummaging in the inside pocket.)
JOHN: Ow. Ow.
(She takes out his wallet, opens it and takes something out of it.)
OPERA SINGER: Debit card, name of S. Holmes.
(Flashback to Sherlock sitting in the living room after John’s return without the shopping.)
SHERLOCK (in flashback): Take my card.
JOHN: Yes; that’s not actually mine. He lent that to me.
OPERA SINGER (looking in the wallet again): A cheque for five thousand pounds made out in the name of Mr Sherlock Holmes.
(Flashback to John taking the cheque from Sebastian.)
JOHN: Yeah, he gave me that to look after.
OPERA SINGER (finding something else in the wallet): Tickets from the theatre, collected by you, name of Holmes.
JOHN: Yes, okay ...
(Flashback to John and Sarah at the Box Office of the theatre.)
MANAGER (in flashback): What’s the name?
JOHN (in flashback): Uh, Holmes.
JOHN (in the present): I realise what this looks like, but I’m not him.
OPERA SINGER: We heard it from your own mouth.
JOHN: What?
OPERA SINGER: “I am Sherlock Holmes and I always work alone ...”
(Flashback to John outside Soo Lin’s flat, storming back to the door and shouting through the letterbox.)
JOHN (in flashback): “... because no-one else can compete with my MASSIVE INTELLECT!”
(John stares ahead of himself in disbelief.)
JOHN: Did I really say that?
(He chuckles weakly, then lowers his head in pain.)
JOHN: I s’ppose there’s no use me trying to persuade you I was doing an impression.
(Before he can finish the sentence, the woman raises a small pistol and points it at his head. John cringes away from it, blowing out a panicked breath. The woman grins.)
OPERA SINGER: I am Shan.
(John stares up at her.)
JOHN: You’re ... you’re Shan.
OPERA SINGER/SHAN: Three times we tried to kill you and your companion, Mr Holmes. What does it tell you when an assassin cannot shoot straight?
(She lifts her other hand and cocks the pistol. John cringes back, turning his head away and whispering, “Don’t, don’t,” as he struggles against his bonds. Shan looks down at him and her expression becomes ominous. John breathes out heavily as her finger tightens on the trigger. John stares into the barrel of the gun, his face full of terror as she pulls the trigger all the way. The gun clicks. John grunts in shock, and Shan smiles smugly.)
SHAN: It tells you that they’re not really trying.
(John breathes heavily, trying to get control of himself.)

221B. Sherlock hurries over to the bookcase.

SHERLOCK: Tramway.
(As if he has lost control of his usual razor-sharp brain in his fear for his friend, he stares at the books on the shelf for a few moments while he tries to find what he wants.)
SHERLOCK (faintly, under his breath): Oh, Christ.
(Finally he finds and pulls out a folding map of London. Turning back to the dining table, he unfolds the map and spreads it out, running his finger over it until he stabs it down.)
SHERLOCK: There.
(He turns and heads out of the door.)

TRAMWAY TUNNEL. Shan slides a clip into the pistol and then cocks it before pointing it at John’s head a second time. John cringes away from it.

SHAN: Not blank bullets now.
[They weren’t blank bullets before, lady; that gun was empty.]
JOHN (breathily): Okay.
SHAN: If we wanted to kill you, Mr Holmes, we would have done it by now. We just wanted to make you inquisitive.
(She looks at him sternly.)
SHAN: Do you have it?
JOHN: Do I have what?
SHAN: The treasure.
JOHN: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
SHAN (turning away): I would prefer to make certain.
(She looks at her men, one of whom now pulls the cover off the large object to reveal the crossbow which was used at the circus. An arrow is already loaded in it. John stares at it and sighs deeply. Shan turns back to him.)
SHAN: Everything in the West has its price; and the price for her life ...
(John turns and stares at Sarah.)
SHAN: ... information.
(The two men walk over and pick up Sarah’s chair. She cries out repeatedly through her gag as they carry her towards the crossbow.)
JOHN (anguished, under his breath): Sorry. I’m sorry.
(The men set down the chair on the other side of the crossbow, leaving Sarah facing the arrow tip and directly in line with it. She stares at it, crying and tugging in vain at the ropes tying her to the chair. Shan glares down at John.)
SHAN: Where’s the hairpin?
JOHN (tugging at his own bonds in spite of the pistol aimed at him): What?
SHAN: The Empress pin valued at nine million sterling. We already had a buyer in the West; and then one of our people was greedy. He took it, brought it back to London and you, Mr Holmes, have been searching.
JOHN: Please. Please, listen to me. I’m not ... I’m not Sherlock Holmes. You have to believe me. I haven’t found whatever it is you’re looking for.
SHAN (loudly): I need a volunteer from the audience!
JOHN (desperately): No, please. Please.
SHAN (walking towards Sarah): Ah, thank you, lady. Yes, you’ll do very nicely.
(Sarah wails through her gag, tugging desperately at her ropes. Shan smiles, takes out a knife and reaches up to a nearby sandbag suspended over a pulley hanging from the ceiling. She stabs the knife into the bag and sand begins to pour out. Sarah continues to wail as John sighs out an appalled breath and stares up at the bag in horror.)

Sherlock is in the back of a taxi, looking around anxiously as the cab progresses through the streets.

Shan smiles and looks around at her audience.

SHAN: Ladies and gentlemen. From the distant moonlit shores of NW1, we present for your pleasure Sherlock Holmes’ pretty companion in a death-defying act.
JOHN: Please!
(Shan has walked over to Sarah and now places a black origami lotus flower on her lap.)

SHAN: You’ve seen the act before. How dull for you. You know how it ends.
JOHN (frantically): I’m not Sherlock Holmes!
SHAN: I don’t believe you.
SHERLOCK (offscreen): You should, you know.
(Shan spins around as a familiar silhouette appears at the far end of the tunnel.)
SHERLOCK: Sherlock Holmes is nothing at all like him.
(Shan raises her pistol, cocks it [again] and aims it towards him. He immediately dodges to the side of the tunnel, disappearing into the shadows. One of Shan’s thugs starts to hurry towards the end of the tunnel.)
SHERLOCK’s VOICE (from the darkness, as John sighs out a half-relieved, half-exasperated breath): How would you describe me, John? Resourceful? Dynamic? Enigmatic?
[He clicks the k-sound at the end of that last word. Your transcriber wibbles happily.]
JOHN (tetchily): Late?
SHERLOCK’s VOICE (from the darkness): That’s a semi-automatic. If you fire it, the bullet will travel at over a thousand metres per second.
SHAN (still aiming her pistol towards the shadows): Well?
SHERLOCK’s VOICE (from the darkness): Well ...
(The thug has reached a large storage container standing at the side of the tunnel. Sherlock runs out from behind it and thwacks the man across the stomach with a metal pipe. The man grunts and collapses to the ground. Sherlock immediately ducks back into the shadows.)
SHERLOCK’s VOICE (quick fire, from the darkness): ... the radius curvature of these walls is nearly four metres. If you miss, the bullet will ricochet. Could hit anyone. Might even bounce off the tunnel and hit you.
(He bursts out of the darkness and runs to the nearby burning dustbin, kicking it over. John flinches at the loud crash and Shan’s eyes widen when she realises that it’s now even more impossible to see that area of the tunnel. John peers into the darkness, trying to see how close his friend is. Sherlock reappears just behind Sarah and squats down behind her, starting to untie her bonds. However, the other man – who turns out to be Liang, Soo Lin’s brother – runs over to him and loops a long red scarf around his throat a couple of times. Sherlock cries out and stands up, tugging at the part of the scarf around his neck as Liang pulls it tight. While they struggle, Sarah looks at them for a moment and then turns back to stare at the arrowhead pointed directly at her. She lifts her gaze to the sandbag, which is just passing the counterbalanced weight on its way down towards the metal cup on the crossbow.
Behind her, Sherlock has shaken off Liang for a moment and again crouches to Sarah’s bonds. Liang hurries forward and swings another loop of the scarf around Sherlock’s neck and again starts pulling him away.
As the men continue to struggle, John realises that Sherlock isn’t going to get free in time. He struggles to stand, which is almost impossible with his hands tied in front of him and attached tightly to the underside of the chair, and his ankles tied to the legs of the chair. Nevertheless he manages to stumble forward a couple of paces, half-carrying and half-dragging the chair with him, before he loses his balance and falls onto his side.
Liang swings yet another loop of the scarf around Sherlock’s neck. Sarah gazes up at the descending metal ball while the men behind her continue to struggle and John thrashes on the floor. Her eyes drop to the arrowhead again as the ball continues relentlessly downwards. Her eyes full of tears, her gaze locks onto her imminent death and all hope begins to fade from her expression.
Flailing and groaning with the effort, John manages to squirm around on the floor and finally gets one foot free enough to kick it upwards and connect with a part of the crossbow. The crossbow shifts position, twisting slightly to the left just as the ball connects with the cup. The arrow is released and flies across the tunnel ... and buries itself in Liang’s stomach. He grunts, then straightens up, his face full of shock. He groans breathily for a moment, then slowly topples to the floor.
Gasping for breath, Sherlock stands up and looks around. Distant running footsteps can be heard – General Shan is leaving the building. He looks in the direction of the sound as if considering following, but Sarah’s anguished muffled sobs distract him and he unloops the red scarf from around his neck and then drops to his knees beside her.)

SHERLOCK (soothingly): It’s all right.
(On the floor, John groans as he struggles to get up onto his elbows. Sherlock unties Sarah’s gag and takes it from her mouth.)
SHERLOCK (softly): You’re gonna be all right. It’s over now. It’s over.
(Stroking his hands comfortingly down her arms, he then bends down to untie the ropes. She begins to sob as John looks up at her from the floor. He smiles wearily.)
JOHN: Don’t worry. Next date won’t be like this.
(She continues to sob as Sherlock straightens up and stands behind her, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. [And, seriously, can we just love this man for doing that instead of taking off after Shan?] He looks down the tunnel wistfully.)

Later, the police have arrived to clear up the mess. Dimmock is waiting beside a police car just outside the tunnel as John puts his arm around Sarah’s shoulders [she’s wearing a shock blanket, John; she’s fine] and walks her away. Sherlock is just behind them and stops to talk to the inspector.

SHERLOCK: We’ll just slip off. No need to mention us in your report.
DIMMOCK: Mr Holmes ...
SHERLOCK: I have high hopes for you, Inspector. A glittering career.
DIMMOCK: I go where you point me.
SHERLOCK (walking away): Exactly.
(Dimmock turns and watches him leave. He smiles ruefully.)

MORNING. 221B. In the kitchen, John is sitting at the table while Sherlock stands next to him and pours him a mug of tea from a teapot.)

JOHN: Ta.
(He is looking at the translated message on the photograph.)
JOHN: So, “Nine mill ...”
SHERLOCK (pouring himself a mug of tea): Million.
JOHN: Million, yes; “Nine million for jade pin. Dragon den, black Tramway.”
SHERLOCK: An instruction to all their London operatives.
JOHN: Mmm.
SHERLOCK: A message; what they were trying to reclaim.
JOHN: What, a jade pin?
SHERLOCK: Worth nine million pounds. Bring it to the Tramway, their London hideout.
JOHN: Hang on: a hairpin worth nine million pounds?
SHERLOCK: Apparently.
JOHN: Why so much?
SHERLOCK: Depends who owned it.

SHAD SANDERSON BANK. The boys are walking towards the entrance to the bank.
SHERLOCK: Two operatives based in London. They travel over to Dalian to smuggle those vases. One of them helps himself to something: a little hairpin.
JOHN: Worth nine million pounds.
SHERLOCK: Eddie Van Coon was the thief. He stole the treasure when he was in China.
JOHN: How d’you know it was Van Coon, not Lukis? Even the killer didn’t know that.
SHERLOCK (going through the revolving doors): Because of the soap.
(He looks round smugly at John, who stops and stares back at him blankly for a moment before following him into the bank.)

Upstairs, Van Coon’s P.A. Amanda is sitting at her desk. She squirts a bit of hand lotion from the pump-action bottle on the desk and rubs it into her hands. Her phone rings and she picks it up and answers it.

AMANDA: Amanda.
SHERLOCK’s VOICE (over the phone): He bought you a present.
AMANDA: Oh. Hello.
SHERLOCK’s VOICE (over the phone): A little gift when he came back from China.
AMANDA: How do you know that?
SHERLOCK (from behind her): You weren’t just his P.A., were you?
(She turns in surprise as he walks around to the side of the desk, switching off his phone and putting it back into his pocket.)
AMANDA (switching off her own phone and putting it down): Someone’s been gossiping.
SHERLOCK: No.
AMANDA: Then I don’t understand. Why ...?
SHERLOCK (interrupting): Scented hand soap in his apartment.
(Brief flashback to Sherlock looking into Van Coon’s bathroom and seeing a pump-action bottle of luxury hand wash on the shelf.)
SHERLOCK: Three hundred millilitres of it. Bottle almost finished.
AMANDA (frowning in confusion): Sorry?
SHERLOCK: I don’t think Eddie Van Coon was the type of chap to buy himself hand soap – not unless he had a lady coming over. And it’s the same brand as that hand cream there on your desk.
(Amanda momentarily looks down awkwardly.)
AMANDA: Look, it wasn’t serious between us. It was over in a flash. It couldn’t last – he was my boss.
SHERLOCK: What happened? Why did you end it?
AMANDA (sadly): I thought he didn’t appreciate me. Took me for granted. Stood me up once too often – we’d plan to go away for the weekend and then he’d just leave; fly off to China at a moment’s notice.
SHERLOCK: And he brought you a present from abroad to say sorry.
(His gaze is focussed on a small green jade hairpin in her hair.)
SHERLOCK: Can I ... just have a look at it?
(He holds out his hand.)

In Sebastian’s office, Seb is signing a cheque for £20,000. He looks up at John who is standing at the other side of the desk.

SEBASTIAN: He really climbed up onto the balcony?
(He puts the cheque into an envelope.)
JOHN: Nail a plank across the window and all your problems are over.
(Looking peeved, Sebastian holds out the envelope to John.)
JOHN: Thanks.

Outside, Amanda is holding her hair in place with one hand while she takes out the pin with the other.
AMANDA: Said he bought it in a street market.
(She puts the pin into Sherlock’s outstretched hand.)
SHERLOCK: Oh, I don’t think that’s true. I think he pinched it.
AMANDA (chuckling ruefully): Yeah, that’s Eddie.
SHERLOCK: Didn’t know its value; just thought it would suit you.
AMANDA: Oh? What’s it worth?
(Sherlock smirks.)
SHERLOCK (slowly): Nine ... million ... pounds.
(Amanda’s face fills with shock.)
AMANDA: Oh my God!
(She stumbles to her feet and staggers backwards as Sherlock grins.)
AMANDA: Oh my G...
(She turns and runs away.)
AMANDA (high-pitched and hysterical): Nine million!
(In Sebastian’s office, John turns his head at the sound of her voice, then turns back and nods to Sebastian before leaving the room.)

NEXT MORNING (or possibly the day after that). Sherlock, wearing a dressing gown over his shirt and trousers, is sitting at the dining table while John sits opposite him. Sherlock is looking at the front page of the Sunday Express, where the headline reads, “Who wants to be a million-hair.” He folds the paper in half, puts it down and picks up another newspaper.

JOHN: Over a thousand years old and it’s sitting on her bedside table every night.
SHERLOCK: He didn’t know its value; didn’t know why they were chasing him.
JOHN: Hmm. Should’ve just got her a lucky cat.
(Sherlock smiles at him briefly, then looks away.)
SHERLOCK: Hmm.
(His gaze becomes distant. John looks at him closely.)
JOHN: You mind, don’t you?
SHERLOCK (looking at him): What?
JOHN: That she escaped – General Shan. It’s not enough that we got her two henchmen.
SHERLOCK: It must be a vast network, John; thousands of operatives. You and I, we barely scratched the surface.
JOHN: You cracked the code, though, Sherlock; and maybe Dimmock can track down all of them now that he knows it.
SHERLOCK: No. No. I cracked this code; all the smugglers have to do is pick up another book.
(He opens his newspaper and lifts it, beginning to read. John’s eyes drift over to the window, and he frowns and looks closely as a young man in a hooded jacket and wearing a cap walks over to a tall black box on the other side of the road which dispenses parking permits. Putting a bag on the ground, the young man looks around in all directions to make sure he’s not being watched, then lifts a spray can in his right hand and sprays his tag on the back of the box. John watches while the ‘artist’ finishes the tag, picks up his bag and hurries away. As Sherlock, oblivious to this, continues to read his paper, John looks thoughtful, and a police car sirens its way down the road.)

In a room somewhere, Shan is sitting at a desk and talking to someone over a computer. Her live image is being transmitted to the other person but the space on the screen which should be showing the face of whoever she’s talking to is marked “No image available.” There is also a text box on the screen which shows that the person to whom she’s talking is indicated simply as “M”. Shan sounds very humble as she speaks.

SHAN: Without you – without your assistance – we would not have found passage into London. You have my thanks.
(The other person’s response appears typed on the screen:

M: GRATITUDE IS MEANINGLESS
M: IT IS ONLY THE EXPECTATION OF FURTHER FAVOURS

The computer beeps to indicate that the message has finished.)
SHAN: We did not anticipate ... we did not know this man would come – this Sherlock Holmes.
(Her face fills with concern.)
SHAN: And now your safety is compromised.
(The computer beeps and new text appears:

M: THEY CANNOT TRACE THIS BACK TO ME

The computer beeps.)
SHAN (sincerely): I will not reveal your identity.
(The computer beeps.)

M: I AM CERTAIN.

(The computer beeps. Unseen by Shan, the red light of a rifle’s laser sight appears in the centre of her forehead. Our view of the scene fades to black, and then a single gunshot rings out as we hear the sound of the bullet smashing through the window opposite en route to its target.)




A full list of episode transcripts, DVD commentary summaries/transcripts and transcripts of the DVD special features can be found here.

Direct links to episode transcripts:
A Study in Pink (pilot) / A Study in Pink (broadcast) / The Blind Banker / The Great Game
A Scandal in Belgravia / The Hounds of Baskerville / The Reichenbach Fall
Many Happy Returns / The Empty Hearse / The Sign of Three / His Last Vow
The Abominable Bride


Or, to download the Episode Transcripts in Word or PDF, click here.

Comments 
13th-Sep-2012 06:48 pm (UTC)
Oh, YOU! You did it again! Ariane, you're a real treasure. This transcript is amazing, like the previous ones, and your "random asides" make it even better. Thank you so much! :-) Also, I'm glad you eventually admit that Sarah had to be killed as soon as possible.
13th-Sep-2012 06:55 pm (UTC)
Good grief, woman, you must be the fastest speed-reader in the world! Nobody reads that fast! Did you skip all the rubbish or something?!
13th-Sep-2012 08:01 pm (UTC)
Do you want the awful truth? I read the whole part 1, and I loved the "clearly agreeing with me that ‘she’ will have to be killed as soon as possible" thing that I felt the urge to fangirl and thank you immediately (I'm afraid "fangirl" is not a transitive verb but I fangirl you all the same). Sue me. And there's worst: since then I read your comments in the other parts, but not the real transcript, I'll savour it at the weekend, when I'm fresh as a daisy. But I didn't want to wait for two days before reading your hilarious "random asides". No way. :D
13th-Sep-2012 08:05 pm (UTC)
I mean "I loved the "clearly agreeing with me that ‘she’ will have to be killed as soon as possible" thing so much that I felt the urge to fangirl and thank you". *sighs* Sorry. I'm at present as fresh as a smoked herring.
14th-Sep-2012 06:01 pm (UTC)
I personally don't think there's anything awful about you only reading the asides - in fact I'm very flattered! I did think that I might have overdone it this time but it was the only way I could cope with all the awful plotholes (why did I just type that as 'plotholmes'?!) and, of course, the appalling miscarriage of justice in making John fancy a woman (nonchalantly ignores Courting is Over) when he's clearly very much in love with one particular man.

Anyway, hope you enjoy the full read when you're more awake!
16th-Sep-2012 04:28 pm (UTC)
You know, when I said, "Ariane, you're a real treasure. This transcript is amazing"? That was before I read the whole thing. I've read it now, and I'm sorry but I must amend my comment.

So, new comment: "Oh my God Ariane, you're a real treasure! This transcript is fucking amazing!!" There. It's better. The time it must have taken you!

P.S. Oh, come on, Courting is Over has a huge quality: it leads to the delightfully slashy Courting Unending. :D
16th-Sep-2012 04:41 pm (UTC)
Ah well, the swearing makes all the effort worthwhile. Thank you, sweetie - glad you liked it.
13th-Sep-2012 07:08 pm (UTC)
Thank you for this
Vielen Dank
13th-Sep-2012 07:35 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much. I love having the transcripts available.
14th-Sep-2012 05:48 pm (UTC)
Many thanks again!
Btw, I've just bought The Empty House and had the pleasure of reading your short story in print: delightful!
14th-Sep-2012 06:01 pm (UTC)
Ooh, glad you enjoyed my story! I still can't believe that it was chosen to be included!
18th-Sep-2012 03:10 am (UTC) - German Tourist
As always: you did a marvelous job with the transcript! Thank you so very much for posting it. I love your sidenotes *chuckles*!

Now I might be wrong, but this is what I think the German tourist (which Sherlock bumped into) might have mumbled:

"Und dann sagen die, dass die Engländer höflich sind!"

"And they claim (say) the English are polite!"
20th-Sep-2012 08:53 am (UTC) - Re: German Tourist
Oh, you are brilliant! Thanks so much for working this out; it was annoying me to have a blank bit. I've added it to the transcript and have given you a credit at the top of the page. Thank you!
20th-Oct-2012 03:52 am (UTC) - Re: German Tourist
Thank you. Glad to be of help. :-)
20th-Oct-2012 04:01 am (UTC) - Re: German Tourist
Oh, just noticed another one:

MALE TOURIST: Was wollt er? Was will er? [{Anarion says that the first sentence makes no sense at all, but the second sentence translates to:} What does he want?]

He might have said: "Was wollte er? Was WILL er?" "What did he want? What DOES he want?" (Like he is correcting himself as he sees Sherlock come after them. "Wollte" is past tense of "will" (want)).
25th-Sep-2012 05:17 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for doing this! I'm not a native speaker (understatement of the century, hah!), and this helps a lot with understanding the actual episode. Subtitles are good and useful, but not always the same.

And your comments are actually a lot more fun than the audiocomments on the DVD. *g*

Erm... do you think you could be persuaded to eventually do the unaired pilot, too? It doesn't even have English subtitles, and certain parts are driving me crazy when I'm trying to figure out the exact differences between it and "A Study in Pink". Especially during the endgame between Sherlock and the evil cabbie...
26th-Sep-2012 08:44 am (UTC)
Oh good grief! I haven't even done The Great Game yet! Actually, I did wonder if, once I post that transcript, people might start asking for the Pilot. My honest answer is "I don't know." I was thinking about it recently and I reckon that it'll be the hardest thing to do, because it's so close to the aired version. Would I take the transcript of the aired version and adjust it, or start from scratch, or a combination of the two? I imagine it'll be a very frustrating task, so I would need to be in the right mood to tackle it. Send cookies, chocolates, and lots of shiraz. And Benedict.

So I think my final answer is "Maybe, one day, perhaps"! Don't hold your breath, because if it does happen it's unlikely to be for some time, and I need to do The Great Game first ... but maybe.

And thank you for your kind comments!
26th-Sep-2012 05:46 pm (UTC)
I don't think you'd need to do the whole Pilot, actually. Up to the scene at the very different Angelo's, the only additional one is with John and creepy!red herring!cabbie, when he's called across London by Sherlock to borrow his phone.

The whole thing with really!creepy!Cabbie is the other important thing, since there are lots of different things. (I just can't figure out what creepy!guy is speeking without subtitles *groan*) So, whenever te mood strikes you, I'm willing to supply all sorts of virtual cakes, tarts, cookies, etc.

Looking forward to The Great Game, and thanks for your work again. You're a jewel. :)
22nd-Oct-2012 07:41 pm (UTC)
GREATNESS ASTOUNDS. :D
What I think is the most interesting about this episode is the fact that the actress who played Amanda is Benedict's ex-girlfriend of ten years. =0 Very awkward, especially with that last conversation about Amanda's relationship with Van Coon. :/
Also, I thought the artist's 'tag' at the end there looked like a Chinese eye - like a 'we're watching you'. :)
Thanks so much for the transcript! It's a joy to read and the German translation was big help. :D

~Toasty
23rd-Oct-2012 08:17 am (UTC)
You're welcome - glad you enjoyed it.

Ben and Olivia were still together when they filmed the episode, I believe, so that scene is only awkward in hindsight!
27th-Feb-2013 04:18 am (UTC)
Anonymous
In The Lucky Cat Emporium:

JOHN: The label there.
SHERLOCK: Yes, I see it.
JOHN: Exactly the same as the cipher.

I groan every time I see this part. Sherlock is quite subtle, obviously realizing that this place and possibly the people nearby are part of this mystery, and he should probably not let on that he's working it. And then John the dolt doesn't catch on and announces aloud that they are onto the cipher. Uugh! I like Sherlock's little sideways glance to the saleswoman there.
27th-Feb-2013 11:45 am (UTC)
Ooh, interesting point! I'm surprised Sherlock didn't slap John around the back of the head for his stupidity!
18th-Aug-2013 10:30 pm (UTC) - AMAZING
Anonymous
You are a true genius. My favorite parts are the little side comments, they make me laugh so hard! The time it must have taken you to do this!
19th-Aug-2013 08:23 am (UTC) - Re: AMAZING
Why thank you! I'm glad you enjoying them.
16th-Sep-2013 08:57 pm (UTC) - Scene at the circus
Anonymous
Hey there,

thank you so much for the transcripts! They're very helpful, especially if one is from Germany and tries desperately to understand not only the story in general but all the tiny important bits, too ;) And I really do enjoy your asides, in fact they cause your scripts to stand out from the crowd in quite a positive and entertaining way.

Now, there's this scene at the so-called circus, where John complains to Sherlock: "You said circus. This is not a circus. [...] Sherlock, this is ..."
Could it be that he finishes the sentence with "...odd" instead of "...art"? As I mentioned, I'm not a native speaker at all and I'm obviously in need of transcripts since I don't understand every spoken word, but "odd" would just match perfectly with John's face at the moment, at least in my head ;)

Anyway, I hope you will keep up the good work as soon as S3 hits the screens!
17th-Sep-2013 11:56 am (UTC) - Re: Scene at the circus
Thank you! I'm glad you find the transcripts useful.

I think it's definitely "art". Although advertised as a 'circus', the way that the 'circus ring' is laid out, with only a small number of tickets sold and no seats for the punters to sit on, makes it far more arty than a normal circus.
8th-Nov-2013 08:52 pm (UTC)
Anonymous
I know I'm very late to this but I just wanted to thank you for these transcripts! They're wonderful! (I love the asides too)

Just 1 small nitpick--when Sherlock catches Soo Lin's teapot he says "That's centuries old. Don't break that." with no 'wanna'. (Sincerely, from a fangirl who's watched that bit 500 times because my GOD that voice)
10th-Nov-2013 12:11 pm (UTC)
Glad you like the transcripts.

I have to disagree with your nitpicking, though - I do think it's "Don't wanna break that." He does kind of swallow the 'wanna' but I'm sure it's what he says. (From a fangirl who's watched it way more than 500 times!!)
12th-Nov-2013 06:06 pm (UTC)
Anonymous
I bow to your expertise, dedication, and sheer awesomeness!

(Right about now is when I need that icon that says "If I wanted to worship you, how would I go about doing that without freaking you out?")
13th-Nov-2013 09:10 am (UTC)
What, this one, you mean?!
13th-Nov-2013 07:42 pm (UTC)
Anonymous
Ha, exactly! XD

Should have known your page is where I saw it, you're entirely perfect!
15th-Nov-2013 08:39 pm (UTC) - I agree :)
Anonymous
Haha, I really love your transcripts!

And I just wanted to tell you that I agreed with you when you said that the Chinese should've heard Sherlock introducing himself to John. I noticed that too!

Another thing I recognized was -
OPERA SINGER: “I am Sherlock Holmes and I always work alone ...”
(Flashback to John outside Soo Lin’s flat as he stormed back to the door and shouted through the letterbox.)
JOHN (in flashback): “... because no-one else can compete with my MASSIVE INTELLECT!”
(John stares ahead of himself in disbelief.)


Sherlock was trying to FOR JOHN TO HEAR HIM while fighting off the masked assassin. I'm pretty sure the guy in black should've heard that too!

Love your work! ;)
17th-Nov-2013 01:48 am (UTC) - Artist tag at the end.
Anonymous
This might just be my personal imagination, but to me it wasn't a tag, it looked more like an eye. Y'know as if to tell Sherlock and John they are still being watched.
Someone has their eye on them. Which fits with the other episodes and Moriarty's obsession with Sherlock.
Anyway, yeah I thought the tag the artist painted looked more like an eye.
17th-Nov-2013 07:36 pm (UTC) - Re: Artist tag at the end.
Oh, I agree it looks like an eye, but I personally think that that just happens to be the tag of that graffiti 'artist'. John (and we) may see it as an eye but I'm not sure that it's specifically a message. I mean, it might be, but it isn't made clear either way to us or to John (and Sherlock).
21st-Nov-2013 12:51 pm (UTC) - Thanks
Anonymous
Thank you very much, this si great. I am not able understand everything from spoken English in films, so your transcription is realy usefull for me.
Elza

Post Scriptum:
part two
"And would someone like to explain to me why the baddies bothered painting the wall?"
- Becouse it was painted FOR Holmes (only for him, not for other smugglers) and they knew he got it (remember, they tought John is Holmes).

part three
"warrior lashes out with one foot, sending John stumbling across the room..."
- ehm, he managed to kick John you-know-where
"Sarah, who has found a sturdy broom from somewhere"
- not a broom, but the arrow from a painted board (resume: don't kick Sarah's lover-to-be in... between his legs)
13th-Mar-2014 07:26 pm (UTC) - tourists
Anonymous
hi, i stumbled over your transcript while looking for the drunken deductions in the best man episode and checked a few other bits, because i was curious.

i am german and was delighted when i watched this episode in english and thought "oh, the tourists are german!" then they continued talking and i corrected german to germish, since no normal german would talk like that (and Minute doesn't really work in german, but whatever).
did you translate the chinese part yourself, or was there something in the official subtitles?
14th-Mar-2014 09:55 am (UTC) - Re: tourists
Every German viewer who has ever commented about the tourists has been horrified at how bad the spoken German was! I think people had the same problem with the German jury in the Many Happy Returns mini-episode as well. I don't know whether the casting team were too lazy to find real German actors (or at least actors who are genuinely bilingual) but I'm sure that such actors must exist. The team seems to have forgotten that this series is watched by more than just Britain and America!

The Chinese spoken by Soo Lin wasn't subtitled or translated on screen but thankfully my beta knew someone fluent in Chinese who provided the translations (and the original Chinese) for us. She is credited at the top of part 3 of this transcript.

17th-Mar-2014 01:50 am (UTC) - Re: tourists
Anonymous
ah, thanks. sorry, i guess i skipped that. happens when you ctrl+f your way across a page. *coughlazycough*
22nd-Jan-2015 04:16 pm (UTC) - great work
Anonymous
great work.But forgive me because i failed to understand whats so special about the the 'c' sound.how is it so charming that you fangirl over it.tell me.
23rd-Jan-2015 01:17 pm (UTC) - Re: great work
Sherlock (or perhaps I should say Benedict) occasionally loudly clicks the 'k' sound at the end of a word, for example in this episode instead of saying, "enigmatic" he says "enigmatiC". I mention this habit (and flail over it) in all three episodes of Season 1, and occasionally in Season 2. To my great disappointment, I haven't found a single k-click in Season 3.

I don't know why I like it so much. He clearly does it deliberately rather than accidentally, and I just like his choice to put a strong emphasis on the end of words occasionally. He also does it with the 't' sound sometimes, but personally I'm a k-click girl!

It just make me wibble every time I hear it. I like it so much that I wrote a short fic about it.
3rd-Aug-2015 11:21 pm (UTC) - blank bullets
Anonymous
First of all: Thank you so much for all your great work!!!
It's highly appreciated.
And second: Please excuse my English. ;-)

I think I know what the "blank bullets" are referring too. They shoot blank bullets in the museum. They didn't want to kill Sherlock resp John (they think he's Sherlock already at this time.)
That's quite clear bc there is a manuscript of the whole episode before it was filmed and there the monologue from Shan is quite longer and she explains this.
And I think they cut it after that bc they have to cut always something and this remained in the cut version. And suddenly it doesn't make sense anymore. If you want to I could you send the uncut manuscript version?
Bye!
4th-Aug-2015 11:23 am (UTC) - Re: blank bullets
Thank you for your kind words!

And suddenly it doesn't make sense anymore.

Oh, a whole lot of this episode doesn't make sense! That's why I get so annoyed with it whenever I watch - large portions of the plot are simply rubbish!

I have a copy of the draft script, and I realise that Shan explains the blank bullets better in there, but unfortunately we have to rely on what we actually see in the episode. I've also had to talk about whether the characters can hear the drum beat or not - all in all, I fear that this episode was poorly written and it wasn't edited very well either.

Thanks so much for your comments! It's always interesting to be told/reminded about background information like this.
10th-Sep-2015 08:33 am (UTC) - a big thank you from hong kong
as captioned. i have just started the series and its really good. now that i get to read it as well, thank you. keep up the good work. justin
11th-Sep-2015 12:22 pm (UTC) - Re: a big thank you from hong kong
You're welcome! I'm glad you're enjoying the series.
21st-Oct-2015 10:51 pm (UTC) - thanks
Anonymous
Thank you so much! As many times as I've watched all three seasons, there are still so many things I miss. I just read this because I couldn't figure out what John was saying when he says "chip and PIN machine" I'm American and we call that the self check-out. I still don't get the chip part of it… :/

Also, the comments led me to the stuff you have on AO3 so that's cool too!
22nd-Oct-2015 07:44 am (UTC) - Re: thanks
'Chip' refers to the microchip inside the debit/credit card. I guess that when this new technology first came out, the makers wanted to make it clear that the machine read the chip and then double-verified the card with the PIN.

I hadn't realised until now that this is yet another example of this series being rather Brit-centric in its use of language!
22nd-Oct-2015 12:25 pm (UTC) - Re: thanks
Anonymous
Most American cards are just switching to chips right now actually! My first experience with them was this summer in the Canadian Rockies where the waiters brought the card machine to you at the table instead of walking away with your card to swipe it. And store clerks would stick the credit card into the machine and frown until I explained it was an American card and then they swiped it down the side. Then a couple months later, at home, a new credit card comes in the mail with a chip embedded and some of the stores have new card readers.
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