Ariane DeVere (arianedevere) wrote,
Ariane DeVere
arianedevere

Sherlock fic: Feeding Frenzy

Title: Feeding Frenzy
Author: Ariane DeVere
Rating: PG for one minor cuss word
Characters: John, Sherlock
Warnings: Pure crack
Disclaimer: Sherlock belongs to way more powerful and wealthy people than me.

It’s a 221B (221 words, with the final word beginning with a ‘b’)

Summary: Cooking dinner at the flat: how hard can it be?




“Sherlock, where the hell are the gammon steaks I put in the fridge yesterday?”

“Threw them out.”

“Why?! They were good for a couple of days yet!”

“I had my reasons.”

“Which are?”

“Irrelevant.”

“... OK, thanks. Very helpful. You know, we’re not exactly flush with cash at the moment. It’d be helpful if you didn’t throw out good food.”

“Mmm.”

“And it doesn’t even look like you needed the space for something hideous from Bart’s. Why did you throw them out?”

“...”

“Are you listening to me?”

“I told you: there are reasons.”

“... ‘Reasons’. What sort of ...? Never mind. I’ll do a pasta sauce with that prosciutto ... Umm, Sherlock?”

“Threw it out.”

“Because?”

“Reasons.”

“Of course. Well, we’ve got nothing for dinner tonight now. We’ll have to make do with sandwiches ... Sherlock, there was a tin of Spam in the cupboard. Where’s it gone?”

“THERE ... ARE ... REASONS!”

What bloody reasons?!”

“I’m fed up with dodging the traps.”

(Oh god help me he’s finally gone bonkers.) The what?!”

“I cleared them out at the same time as all the ham.”

(I’m phoning Mycroft first thing tomorrow.) Anyway, I’ve found a box of eggs. What about scrambled eggs on toast?”

“I don’t care how you do them, just as long as they’re not bloody Eggs Benedict.”


~~~~~~~~~~

Inspired, of course, by the barmy Benedict video (and I refuse to apologise to anyone who’s never seen this before now. I love it and am happy to have the tune stuck in my head all day!)

Tags: sherlock, sherlock fic
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