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Ariane DeVere
Sherlock fic: Flatmates should know the worst about each other 
20th-Aug-2011 08:02 pm
Sherlock - BAMF JW Bitch
Title: Flatmates should know the worst about each other
Author: Ariane DeVere
Word count: 221
Rating: PG
Characters: John, Sherlock
Warnings: It looks sort of angsty, but it really isn’t, honest. However, includes mention of possible drug use.
Disclaimer: Sherlock belongs to way more powerful and wealthy people than me.

Flatmates should know the worst about each other

It’s worse than the drugs busts; worse than the terrible times when there’s no case and Sherlock prowls around the flat, bored and dangerous; worse than the terrible times when there is a case and Sherlock flares around London with no thought for his own safety or that of others; worse than the times when a case goes on too long and Sherlock is pale, exhausted and trembling from lack of both food and sleep.

It’s even worse than the few heartbreaking times – thankfully very few – when Sherlock can no longer resist the call of his old addictions and John comes home to find that it’s not nicotine patches that Sherlock has been applying to his arm.

In all of these scenarios, John is at Sherlock’s side, quiet, supportive, ready to defend him, protect him – or die for him.

It’s still a shock whenever Sherlock’s anguished voice cries out John’s name, disturbing John from his sleep or from a doze on the sofa. The fear in Sherlock’s voice is horrifying and John wants to bury his head under a pillow and pretend he can’t hear it.

But he’s in this for good and bad, and so John sighs tiredly and once more pulls himself to his feet and goes to defend and protect Sherlock by retrieving the spider from the bath.


Author’s Note: This 221B (221 words, final word beginning with a ‘b’) was somewhat inspired by the fact that my plotbunny appears to have gone on holiday and left behind a temp to do his job for him. Sadly, I am finding it more than a little hard to be inspired whenever the plotspider regularly comes galloping across the floor and heads straight for my feet, apparently with the intention of nibbling on my toes in the way that the bunny does. He hasn’t managed it yet and ends up racing straight past as I hoick my feet into the air with a shriek of terror. Sadly, it doesn’t stop him trying.

Come home soon, Cedric, please. I miss you, you silly fluffy bunny, you.

Do forgive the ludicrously wide paragraph spacing.  LJ is being a prat today.
20th-Aug-2011 08:13 pm (UTC)
Hah, I'm with Sherlock, I wish I had a John to rescue me from the evil spiders, but my flatmate is a scardy cat too. brilliant buildup with funny punchline.
20th-Aug-2011 08:14 pm (UTC)
You're having a very busy weekend, my dear!

Love it - although now I'm imagining Sherlock shouting "John... JOHN! THPIDER!"

Will be sure to bring carrots to tempt Cedric back into action next month :D
20th-Aug-2011 08:51 pm (UTC)
Yes, it does makes sense if he is genuinely terrified his yelling of that word under such duress it would indeed be "THPIDER!"

Now I'm sympathizing and giggling!
20th-Aug-2011 08:43 pm (UTC)
Great! :D
Actually, my wife and I have been playing this scenario several times, except it also included the variant when John wasn't at home, so Sherlock had to a) call Mrs. Hudson (who's not good with spiders either, so their attempt to get rid of the poor spider often ends up as a disaster), b) swallow his pride, call Mycroft and let his men take care of the problem. XD
21st-Aug-2011 10:53 am (UTC)
I need to read this fic!! Someone write it soon!!!!

Edited at 2011-08-21 10:56 am (UTC)
20th-Aug-2011 08:47 pm (UTC)
I was about to make a very subtle and witty comment about the thpider. Then I read Verity's one. Rats.

Please forgive me, but if the plotspider inspires you fics like this, I say yay for him (and yet I HATE spiders).
20th-Aug-2011 08:54 pm (UTC)
Sorry sweetie! I may be neither subtle nor witty... but I'm fast!
20th-Aug-2011 08:52 pm (UTC)
Adorable and believable! Thank you. Don't worry about the spacing, it is easy to read.
(Deleted comment)
20th-Aug-2011 09:13 pm (UTC)
What she said!
20th-Aug-2011 10:02 pm (UTC)
Hey! Those things can totally jump on you!

Love it.
20th-Aug-2011 10:12 pm (UTC)
Hahaha!! :D I'm off on holiday for a week (without internet) and this is the last fic I'll read for a while; a high note if ever there were one!

And the 'THPIDER!' comment made it even more perfect XD
20th-Aug-2011 10:50 pm (UTC)
Two things! 1) This is freakin' hilarious (as is your Author's Note - "hoick" is one of my favorite words, and sadly underused). 2) I've now got Alvy Singer's voice stuck in my head, saying to Annie Hall, "Honey, there's a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick."
21st-Aug-2011 11:15 am (UTC)
When I was writing the note I frowned and thought (a) is 'hoicked' the right word? and (b) will anyone understand it? so yay that it was and someone did!
20th-Aug-2011 11:07 pm (UTC)
I currently have SUCH a hard time not to burst into extremely loud laughter :)))
Unfortunately I have a guest and he's sleeping next to me on the couch.
But this is truly brilliant!!!
(Deleted comment)
21st-Aug-2011 12:42 am (UTC)
Bwah! Now I'm imagining a version of that scene in "Sleepy Hollow" where it's Sherlock up on a chair saying "Kill it - no - stun it!"
21st-Aug-2011 09:49 am (UTC)
This is -once again- brilliant! <3

I was ready for a heartbreaking end and instead snorted very unwomanly and really really inelegantly. Yay!
21st-Aug-2011 05:27 pm (UTC)
Oh, you got me! I totally did not see that coming. Clever, clever girl! I needed a good laugh. Thank you for this. :D
18th-Sep-2011 06:50 pm (UTC)
Sweet and sad at the same time, well done.
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