January 17th, 2019

CP - Count to One

Cabin Pressure Transcript: 1.1 Abu Dhabi

Cabin Pressure Transcript: 1.1 Abu Dhabi

Script by John Finnemore
Transcript by Ariane DeVere

A link back to this page would be kind if you are cutting and pasting extracts from this transcript to post on your own blog, Tumblr etc.


(Bing-bong)
DOUGLAS (over cabin address): Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, First Officer Douglas Richardson here. Just to let you know we’re making our final approach now into what I am fairly sure is Fitton Airfield. Unless it’s a farm – or just possibly the A45. It’s not the sea, because that’s blue. I should perhaps explain that Captain Crieff and I have a sportsman-like little bet on today about who can fly the best after drinking a litre of vodka through a straw. The captain went first. You may have noticed the take-off run was a little bumpy, particularly over the golf course. Now it’s me to land ... just as soon as I decide which of these two runaways to aim for. And I’m happy to tell you that I feel lucky. So, on behalf of all your crew today, may I just say, “Geronimo!”
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CP - crew

Cabin Pressure Transcript: 1.2 Boston

Cabin Pressure Transcript: 1.2 Boston

Script by John Finnemore
Transcript by Ariane DeVere

A link back to this page would be kind if you are cutting and pasting extracts from this transcript to post on your own blog, Tumblr etc.


CAROLYN: Your seat belt fastens like this, and unfastens like this. An invaluable lesson there for any of you who have never been in a car. In the very unlikely event of an emergency landing, your inflatable safety jacket is under your seat – and that is precisely where I recommend it stay, given that the largest body of water between here and Luton is an open-air swimming pool in Daventry. Finally, please keep your mobile phones switched off for the duration of the flight. Obviously they have no effect whatsoever on our navigational equipment or we wouldn’t let you have them, but they drive me up the wall. Thank you, and enjoy your flight.
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CP - Cremona

Cabin Pressure Transcript: 1.3 Cremona

Cabin Pressure Transcript: 1.3 Cremona

Script by John Finnemore
Transcript by Ariane DeVere

A link back to this page would be kind if you are cutting and pasting extracts from this transcript to post on your own blog, Tumblr etc.


(Bing-bong.)
DOUGLAS (over cabin address): Good evening. This is First Officer Douglas Richardson. Just to let you know we’re now making our final preparations to ‘fly you to the moon.’ While we’re airborne I do hope you’ll take advantage of the opportunity to ‘play among the stars.’ Those of you sitting on the left-hand side of the aircraft should have an excellent view of ‘what spring is like on Jupiter’; and on the right-hand side, ‘Mars.’ ‘In other words, hold my hand. In other words, baby, kiss me.’ Cabin doors to automatic.
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CP - why why why why

Cabin Pressure Transcript: 1.4 Douz

Cabin Pressure Transcript: 1.4 Douz

Script by John Finnemore
Transcript by Ariane DeVere

A link back to this page would be kind if you are cutting and pasting extracts from this transcript to post on your own blog, Tumblr etc.


(Bing-bong.)
MARTIN (smoothly, over cabin address): Good afternoon. This is your captain speaking. Just to say, there is absolutely nothing to worry about.
(Pause.)
(Bing-bong.)
MARTIN (calmly): Hello. Captain Crieff here again. Still no need to panic. I repeat: there is no need to panic. Or to look out of the windows. Everything’s fine.
(Pause.)
(Bing-bong.)
MARTIN (a little more urgently): Actually, I wasn’t being entirely straight with you just now. You see, it’s this damnable sleeping sickness of mine. (He yawns.) Normally, I control it with a mysterious stimulant from South America ... (his voice becomes even more urgent) ... but, blast it, my supply’s run out! I’m afraid our only hope now is if, by some chance, someone on board knows how to prepare this stimulant and could ...
CAROLYN (from the cabin): Yes, we get the message. Arthur, take Martin his coffee.
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