Title: Unexpected Item
Author: Ariane DeVere
Word count: 514
Characters: John, Sherlock
Warnings: Naah. Nothing but crack here.
Disclaimer: Sherlock belongs to way more powerful and wealthy people than me.
John is a bit flustered when he and Sherlock are first observed kissing in public. But that’s OK, because Sherlock is ready to explain everything to whoever needs telling. Oh, wait, is that really a good idea ...?
It’s still unusual for Sherlock to show any affection in public and so John is always surprised – and delighted – on the rare occasion when his new partner / boyfriend / lover / significant other (he hasn’t really settled on an appropriate title yet) initiates physical contact while they’re out. So it’s particularly glorious when he finds himself pulled into an alleyway, pressed up against the wall and soundly snogged by a detective who is still high on the excitement of having solved another crime.
It’s just typical bad timing that John surfaces from the kiss, breathless and aroused, only to see a little girl – about six or seven years old – standing at the end of the alleyway and looking at them curiously ... and even worse timing that the girl’s mother chooses that moment to catch up to her daughter and follow her gaze down the alley.
Sherlock turns his head to see what John’s looking at and breathes out an almost silent, “Oh.” He opens his mouth as if to say something to the mother and child but John – suddenly overcome with giggles – grabs his hand and tugs him into motion. Catching John’s giddiness, Sherlock follows his lead as they run off down the alleyway laughing.
But the fates haven’t quite finished with Operation Make John Watson’s Life Bloody Awkward Today, so it has to be only ten minutes later that – for the first time ever – Sherlock actually follows him into the supermarket instead of swirling off home and leaving him to do the shopping alone. And it has to be just a few minutes after that that, while John stands at the deli counter deciding which cheese to buy, Sherlock takes his hand and holds it while dropping a kiss onto his cheek. And it has to be just then that Sherlock breathes out that “Oh,” again so that John turns and sees that the same little girl is standing nearby and staring at them wide-eyed and innocently while her mother glares at them accusingly. Before she can pull her daughter away, the girl looks up at her and asks, “I don’t understand – why are they kissing?”
But then John’s heart melts into a puddle of pure adoration as Sherlock turns towards the girl and drops to his knees, sinking back on his heels so that he isn’t an intimidating height over her. He smiles up at her mother so sweetly, silently reassuring her that he is no threat, that her frown begins to fade. It’s the most beautiful sight that John has ever seen and he’s not sure he will ever be able to breathe properly again.
And it’s all stunningly gorgeous until Sherlock looks back down to the little girl, smiles fondly at her ... and then opens that bloody mouth of his.
“Well, when an army doctor and a consulting detective love each other very much ...”
It’s a nuisance to have to walk the extra six minutes to the nearest Tesco every time there’s no milk in the flat. Hopefully in due course Waitrose will lift the ban.
This story has now - to my humble amazement - been illustrated by the amazingly talented Khorazir here.
Atlin’s fault. Always Atlin’s fault. But this time – bizarrely – with a little help from my mother.
So I’m sitting in the bar at the National Theatre with atlinmerrick, anarion, and mirith, the author of the awesomely hot Control, Alt, Delete and – while mourning the fact that my best mate, verityburns, isn’t also there (we raised a toast to you, kiddo) – we’re discussing which members of our respective families know what we do, and how much they know about what we do. I mention that my mum had winkled out of me that I was writing Sherlock fic and had asked to see it. Somewhat reluctantly I had printed off a careful selection of my stories, including The Click of the K (which ends with John kissing Sherlock for the first time) and had left them with her after somewhat awkwardly explaining that, in the fandom that I follow, we sort of like the two main characters to be gay. Anyway, this information clearly didn’t sink in at all and when I next saw her some time later and asked what she had thought of my stories, she frowned and said, “Well, I didn’t understand one thing: why were they kissing?”
At this point, Mirith turns around to me in the National bar, puts an understanding hand on my shoulder, gazes seriously into my eyes and says, “Well, when an army doctor and a consulting detective love each other very much ...”
Cue the loudest shriek of laughter from Atlin, a stern disapproving glare from a woman sitting nearby, an instant challenge for all four of us to incorporate that phrase into our next fics, and the realisation that there’s yet another place in London I never dare set foot in again.
Oh, and there’s another line that we’re all supposed to incorporate as well, so I guess I’ll have to think of another story soon. Actually, there were three phrases but none of us can remember what the third one was ...
And here are the other versions:
Mirith’s: Heat Wave (NC-17 like woah)
Anarion’s: Unexpected Sight
and Atlin’s: The First Time...John Gave Sherlock a Blow Job in Public (What d’you reckon – NC-17 a bit?!)