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Ariane DeVere
Sherlock fic: Etc. 
11th-Apr-2012 11:25 am
Benedict - Metro

Title: Etc.
Author: Ariane DeVere
Word count: 221
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Sex just happened
Disclaimer: Sherlock belongs to way more powerful and wealthy people than me.

John linked hands with Sherlock, concentrating on not having a heart attack as the memories of the last hour ran through his mind. Their love-making was always awesome but this had been ...

He turned to look at the man lying beside him who had reduced him to this state. Sherlock’s free hand was draped over his eyes and he looked satisfyingly exhausted.

“That ... was amazing,” John said. He smirked as Sherlock groaned, but then looked at him more seriously. “No, it was way more than amazing,” he continued. “I can’t even think of a word. You’ve got a better dictionary in your head than me ...”

“Best yet,” Sherlock said drowsily.

“That’ll do,” John agreed, smiling as he turned his head away.

He was almost dozing off when there was a scratching sound near the door. He turned to look, and frowned as the small creature scurried across the room and disappeared under the bureau.

“Sherlock? We’ve got a mouse.”

Three mice,” Sherlock replied sleepily. “Don’t worry – I know how to get rid of them.”

“Oh,” John said. He turned and blinked innocently at Sherlock. “So does that mean that the best laid men have mice and schemes?”

Sherlock lifted his head and stared at John’s wide grin, then scowled mock-ferociously.

“Get out of this bed and never come back.”


Author’s Note: Oh, and just in case you don’t know: “The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men” (often misquoted as ‘The best laid plans ...’) comes from a famous poem by Robert Burns.

This fic has been lurking around in my head ever since I first read the staggeringly good and very NC-17 fic Best Laid Etc by abundantlyqueer. That title immediately gave me the punchline for this story (as well as this title), but it’s taken over a year to get it out of my head and onto the screen.

P.S. Sorry. It probably should have stayed in my head.

11th-Apr-2012 10:55 am (UTC)
No, no! I'm so glad you posted it, it was gloriously terrible! I am highly amused.
12th-Apr-2012 12:48 pm (UTC)
*gulp* I hope you meant the punchline was terrible, not the whole story!

On the other hand ...
11th-Apr-2012 10:57 am (UTC)
11th-Apr-2012 11:26 am (UTC)
“Get out of this bed and never come back.”
I can hear John's fake-innocent voice and Sherlock's mock-aggravated tone :o)
As far as I'm concerned, that's now in my head-canon.
11th-Apr-2012 11:45 am (UTC)
This was nine kinds of awesome. And totally headcanon, now.
11th-Apr-2012 12:49 pm (UTC)
You see, I like your fics because they're always educational. For instance I improved my knowledge about Abba thanks to The Day Before You Came and I learnt a new recipe for chocolate mousse in Frothy Preparation. This time, I'm delighted because you make me read a poem by Robert Burns. And not at all because Sherlock and John have just had more-than-amazing sex. Not at all. I don't enjoy slash anyway. Thank you, Ariane, for this cultural moment.

P.S. I guess Robert Burns is Verity's relative ?
12th-Apr-2012 12:51 pm (UTC)
And all this time you thought I was simply writing fic for the heck of it. See just how cunning I am?

That's what comes of working for a teachers' union. I just can't help myself!

P.S. I think he might be her dad. I don't like to ask.
11th-Apr-2012 12:59 pm (UTC)
I love this! So very clever. Organic not forced.
11th-Apr-2012 01:54 pm (UTC)
Awesome. I needed a good laugh.
11th-Apr-2012 02:40 pm (UTC)
Excellent! I loves me a good pun!
11th-Apr-2012 04:33 pm (UTC)
Hmmm... And suddenly images from The Great Mouse Detective spring to mind when you mentioned three mice... (sorry!)
Never apologize for this; it is sweet, playful and fun. We can all use a wee bit of crack, some days! Tis just my thing. Bad puns... Well, I live with a punster, so I am used to it.
11th-Apr-2012 05:47 pm (UTC)
Oh, lovely! I'm giggling madly, which is much needed on a stressful day.
12th-Apr-2012 12:51 pm (UTC)
Happy to have cheered you up!
11th-Apr-2012 06:07 pm (UTC)
May I add support to the 'Don't leave this stuff in your head!' brigade?!

I will work out some evil plot to download your brain if you keep making these kinds of threats - and the Bun is with me.

Love this, as always - you are such a clever girl, never did I have a more appropriate ringtone than the one I have for you :D
14th-Apr-2012 01:05 pm (UTC)
Oh, no. You don't get to reference the ringtone and not explain what it is. Out with it, Burns. Is it ABBA?
11th-Apr-2012 09:29 pm (UTC)
Yo. Steinbeck's book, too! Love this.
12th-Apr-2012 12:52 pm (UTC)
Or maybe the "Cabin Pressure" version, Of Mice and Me ...
11th-Apr-2012 10:37 pm (UTC)
Hee! V., v. cute!
12th-Apr-2012 12:13 am (UTC)
12th-Apr-2012 04:17 am (UTC)
That's a terrible pun, and I love it =)
Puns are underrated as an art form!
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