Author: Ariane DeVere
Word count: 221
Disclaimer: Sherlock belongs to way more powerful and wealthy people than me.
Summary: John doesn’t want to deliver the eulogy. But who else can do it but him?
It’s not as tragic or depressing as it might look. Ah, hell, it’s pure crack. But play along for a bit, if you don’t mind.
“We are gathered here today to mourn the loss...”
John stopped, trying to control his emotions. He didn’t dare look at the people in front of him, afraid that meeting anyone’s eyes would make him lose his very limited grasp on his sanity.
“We are here to remember the bravest, noblest, most heroic...”
Somewhere to his right Sally choked out a muffled sob. John threw an angry warning glance in her direction. It was her fault this had happened, and he would never forgive her if she was the person who started him weeping.
“So brave, so valiant, fighting irresistible forces, struggling on against all odds...”
Lestrade lowered his head and covered his eyes. John whimpered slightly.
“Such courage may never be witnessed again.”
A few paces away, Sherlock directed his best ferocious glare at his flatmate as John finally lost it and cracked up, and the police officers in front of him began to laugh hysterically. Sherlock summoned the last remnants of his dignity and angrily drew his jacket around him in a vain attempt to disguise the ruin of his shirt which had let go just as he had puffed out his chest to deliver a stinging retort to Sally’s snarky comments.
John wiped tears of laughter from his eyes.
“We are here to remember those brave, brave buttons.”
Author’s Note: Never was the phrase, “Verity made me do it” more appropriate. This was only meant to be a bit of practice, and because my plotbunny had muttered “buttons” at me. But Verity the human got all belligerent on me when I said I didn’t think it was worth posting, and Verity the bun gave me her biggest glare – which on a fluffy bunny isn’t really all that threatening, but still ...
Never associate with anyone called Verity, is my advice to you all. They are scary.