Title: Ready for boarding Author: Ariane DeVere Word count: 221 Rating: PG-13 Warning: Implied sexytimes (but nothing graphic except in your own imagination. So probably quite a lot of graphic.) Disclaimer: Sherlock belongs to way more powerful and wealthy people than me.
A birthday present for chocolamousse. That’ll teach her to have a birthday this year!
Ready for boarding
Ladies and gentlemen ... I mean, gentleman and gentleman ... I mean, gentlemen, can I have your attention please. This is your plot bunny speaking. Listen to the plot bunny. Plot number two two one ... B is now ready for boarding at Gate ... eight. It’s easy to relate. It involves a date – with your flat mate. If you want to be on that date ... it’s time to go on the date now. If you have secretly fancied your flat mate for ages, take him on the date. If he means the world to you and you finally want to admit it ... take him on the date. If you want to feed him up, chat him up, then take him home afterwards and kiss him slowly and tenderly and then more passionately until he can’t breathe, and then take him to your bed, remove his clothes, smother him with chocolate mousse before licking it all off and driving him crazy with sexual frustration before finally giving in to all your urges and making slow passionate love to him ... take him on the date. If you have any mad storytellers lurking in taxis ... they’re not allowed on the date. Please put them ... in the prison where the man with the umbrella can interrogate him to his heart’s content! Okay, bye! Love, the Plot Bunny.
Author’s note: Unfortunately, if you don’t listen to the Cabin Pressure radio series or haven’t yet heard the episode called “Uskerty”, this won’t mean a thing to you. But then if you don’t listen to Cabin Pressure I’m afraid I can’t have much sympathy for you because, seriously, what are you doing with your life?!
Happy birthday, Choco. Have a fabulous year. Ari xx