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Ariane DeVere
Sherlock fic: Ready for boarding 
27th-Jan-2013 11:32 am
CP - Bing-bong
Title: Ready for boarding
Author: Ariane DeVere
Word count: 221
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Implied sexytimes (but nothing graphic except in your own imagination. So probably quite a lot of graphic.)
Disclaimer: Sherlock belongs to way more powerful and wealthy people than me.


A birthday present for chocolamousse. That’ll teach her to have a birthday this year!




Ready for boarding


*Bing-bing-bong.*

Ladies and gentlemen ... I mean, gentleman and gentleman ... I mean, gentlemen, can I have your attention please. This is your plot bunny speaking. Listen to the plot bunny. Plot number two two one ... B is now ready for boarding at Gate ... eight. It’s easy to relate. It involves a date – with your flat mate. If you want to be on that date ... it’s time to go on the date now. If you have secretly fancied your flat mate for ages, take him on the date. If he means the world to you and you finally want to admit it ... take him on the date. If you want to feed him up, chat him up, then take him home afterwards and kiss him slowly and tenderly and then more passionately until he can’t breathe, and then take him to your bed, remove his clothes, smother him with chocolate mousse before licking it all off and driving him crazy with sexual frustration before finally giving in to all your urges and making slow passionate love to him ... take him on the date. If you have any mad storytellers lurking in taxis ... they’re not allowed on the date. Please put them ... in the prison where the man with the umbrella can interrogate him to his heart’s content! Okay, bye! Love, the Plot Bunny.


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Author’s note: Unfortunately, if you don’t listen to the Cabin Pressure radio series or haven’t yet heard the episode called “Uskerty”, this won’t mean a thing to you. But then if you don’t listen to Cabin Pressure I’m afraid I can’t have much sympathy for you because, seriously, what are you doing with your life?!

Happy birthday, Choco. Have a fabulous year. Ari xx
Comments 
27th-Jan-2013 02:02 pm (UTC)
Just the one word . . . brilliant!!

"...and then take him to your bed, remove his clothes, smother him with chocolate mousse before licking it all off and driving him crazy with sexual frustration before finally giving in to all your urges and making slow passionate love to him..."

Could you imagine Arthur trying to say all that? I laughed myself silly.

Thanks for sharing the birthday present. :)
27th-Jan-2013 05:15 pm (UTC)
I must agree with 'rifleman_s' - that was absolutely brilliant!

Rarely does one find such a joyful melding between two such wonderful worlds - and this is so cleverly written that I was alternating between giggling and gasping all the way through it.

A very happy birthday, Chocola... and thank you for having it!

xxx
27th-Jan-2013 07:50 pm (UTC)
Awww, I love my gift! Best boarding message ever! (Sorry, Arthur.)

Oh yes Sherlock (or John), please take John (or Sherlock) on that date and cover him with Chocolamousse chocolate mousse. *daydreams a bit and gulps*

It's funny and sensual and clever. (Of course it's clever. You wrote it.) Thank you very much, it's a delightful gift! :-)
28th-Jan-2013 02:52 pm (UTC)
Now I want chocolate mousse. I've wanted the rest of the things covered in this 221b for ages. :-) Thank you for posting this birthday gift for everyone to share!
28th-Jan-2013 04:50 pm (UTC)
Brilliant :D
28th-Jan-2013 07:36 pm (UTC)
Oh. My. God!
A friend gave me the link to your entry and that is absolutly brilliant! I can't stop giggling. Best thing i've read all day :-D
28th-Jan-2013 09:11 pm (UTC)
Ah yes, I wish my plot bunnies would talk like that...

And CP is BRILLIANT!!!! (as Arthur would no doubt put it)
28th-Jan-2013 10:57 pm (UTC)
*giggle*

It's priceless hearing it in Aurthur's voice.
29th-Jan-2013 01:06 am (UTC)
BRILLIANT! (because that needed to be said)
But honestly, this is great!! And I had Arthur's voice in my head which made it sooo much better!!!
Anyway, thanks for sharing <3
29th-Jan-2013 11:33 am (UTC)
You know, even if you know absolutely nothing about Cabin Pressure, it's still lovely.

*It’s easy to relate. It involves a date – with your flat mate.* (giggles off the chair)

And seriously, you're asking Sherlockians in the midst of the Hiatus what are they doing with their life? Surviving, I think.
29th-Jan-2013 01:49 pm (UTC)
I know I'm not the first to say this, but this was... brilliant :D
3rd-Feb-2013 11:20 am (UTC)
Implied sexytimes (but nothing graphic except in your own imagination. So probably quite a lot of graphic.)

Mwahahahaha! You know us so well!

I wont say this is brilliant, but it is awesome!
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