(See the end of this page for links to my Macros, and my reports on “An Afternoon With Mark Gatiss and Friends,” Mark’s interviews with members of the Sherlock cast and production team in 2012 and with other celebrity friends in 2014.)
Sherlock fic (newest first)
Saint Bartholomew - PG. 5023 words. Sherlock rarely reveals much about his youth. When John finds out something about his childhood and makes a nice gesture, why should Sherlock care? After all, sentiment? Sentiment is a chemical defect found in the losing side.
Thank you for the music - PG. 221 words. Newly established in their relationship, Sherlock worries that he isn’t making John happy. John is quick to reassure him.
Time to choose a side, Doctor Watson - PG. 600 words. Five times when John Watson had to make a difficult decision, and one time when the decision was easy.
John Watson’s Shaggy Bangs - PG. 221 words. The difference between the English language and the American language can sometimes cause confusing misunderstandings. Thankfully this particular difference leads to a satisfactory ending.
For Emily, wherever I may find her - PG-13. 7456 words. In sad circumstances, Sherlock meets an old friend from his childhood. Realising the strength of feeling between Sherlock and John, can she persuade them to admit how they really feel about each other?
The importance of trifles - PG-13. 221 words. John regrets asking Sherlock to teach him some of his deduction techniques – until Sherlock delivers part of the lesson with which John can definitely get on board.
Don’t call me Bill. Or William. Or any other version of the name. - PG-13. 7217 words. Five times Sherlock hated his name, and one time when he didn’t. William Sherlock Scott Holmes’ relationship with – and dislike of – his own name throughout the years. Translated into Russian on ficbook.net and AO3
Notoriously difficult to schedule - PG. 100 words. John just wants a lie-in, but Sherlock’s got an exciting new investigation to commence. A birthday drabble for squire.
Very sincerely yours - PG. 221 words. On the run from Moriarty, events take a turn for the worse in Switzerland. (Although it’s meant to be the BBC characters, this is an ACD-compliant version of part of “The Final Problem.” Well ... Ish.)
And that (Said John) Is That - PG-13. 2341 words. When a valuable diamond needs retrieving from the riverside, John is the only man for the job. At least, in Sherlock’s opinion. Inspired by A. A. Milne’s poem ‘Happiness.’
Sherlilocks and the Three Bores - PG-13. 1291 words. A twist on the Goldilocks story (obviously). Sherlilocks goes for a walk in the forest and finds the house of the Three
Resolving a cross ticking time bomb - PG. 855 words. Sherlock has been cross, tense and snappy and has been avoiding John for days, and John has no idea why. Will a text conversation finally reveal what the problem is?
There’ll be people - PG-13. 2436 words. There’s a reason why Sherlock doesn’t travel on the Underground, and it’s not because he’s a snob. John learns the reason the hard way.
Road to Freedom - R. 4826 words. Sherlock was used to talking to John out loud even if he wasn’t actually there, and he was also used to John answering him, at least inside his head. So why wouldn’t he answer now, when he needed him so much?
It’s this, or Cluedo - R(ish). 221 words. The game is on! (It is a tiny bit sexy.)
Against Inclement Weather - PG. 221 words. “I missed Sherlock so much when he went away, when I thought he was dead.” Absence will always make the heart grow fonder.
The Hen Night - PG-13. 3291 words. Mary’s hen night takes place on the same evening as John’s stag do. A missing scene from “The Sign of Three” which – despite having never been aired – may seem strangely familiar ...
Human Error - PG. 862 words. Nobody has yet broken it to Janine that Sherlock doesn’t really want to marry her. A missing scene from “His Last Vow”.
Waltz - PG. 221 words. Sherlock misses his violin. A pre-series 3 ficlet. A 221B story with the mother of all DeVereian twists.
Protégé - PG. 221 words. I am Sherlock Holmes’ protégé (Spoilers for Season 3)
Disaster Area - G. 221 words. Sherlock has been cooking for Christmas. What could possibly go wrong?!
The Quizzicality of Names - PG-13. 8598 words. It’s a Sherlock story with mystery and banter and humour and a teeny bit of angst and some romance! But it’s also a Sherlockian holiday quiz!
Make a military sortie - PG. 221 words. Everything was fine until that bloody man turned up at a crime scene.
Two two one bee - PG. 221 words. Nowadays, Sherlock looks differently at the information inside his mind palace. A sort-of sequel to Initially, he wanted to be a pilot but can be read as a stand-alone.
Fifty - PG. 221 words. In which the author indulges in the tiniest bit of meta – and the biggest bit of crack – and demolishes the heck out of the fourth wall to celebrate writing her fiftieth story.
Initially, he wanted to be a pilot - PG-13. 18,251 words. A Cabin Pressure/Sherlock crossover fic. Ish. Martin Crieff wakes up in hospital, unable to remember how he got there. When he is told that his entire life is a lie, should he believe it? And who can help him find out the truth? Translated into Italian.
Take the Long Way Home - PG. 1534 words. Two old friends meet in a park. It’s just lucky coincidence ... isn’t it?
Suck it and see - PG-13. 1082 words. Getting a splinter in your finger shouldn’t be such a big deal. So why is it so difficult to keep control when Sherlock tries to help get it out?
Season four - G. 100 words. Sherlock is frustrated by the mysterious death of a woman. (Crackfic celebrating recent news about the TV series)
Didn’t we almost make it - PG. 888 words. The revelation that Sherlock is alive is the first trace of hope that John has had in a long time. Now he waits in a park to meet with his best friend again.
Ready for boarding - PG-13. 221 words. ”It’s time to go on the date now.” (A sort of Cabin Pressure crossover)
Departure - PG. 221 words. Part of the series of “train travel” 221Bs written by me (obviously), Anarion, Atlin Merrick, Stacey Albright and Verity Burns
The Diplomatic Outing - PG-13. 4994 words. Getting over her crush on Sherlock is an ongoing challenge for Molly. So there’s no way she’s going to agree to go out with him, even if it is just for a case – is there? Translated into Russian
In memoriam - PG. 221 words. John doesn’t want to deliver the eulogy. But who else can do it but him? (It’s not as tragic or depressing as it might look. Ah, hell, it’s actually pure crack.)
Three little words - PG. 221 words. Based on the Three Words released by Mark Gatiss and Steven Moffat as clues for the Season 3 episodes
Terror on Baker Street - PG. 221 words. Their friendship has endured every crisis. They have shared countless experiences. But nothing, nothing can compare to the terror which is currently stalking them throughout their daily lives. (Despite the summary, it’s not as scary as it might look. Well, not really ...)
Dreamer’s Awakening - NC-17. 5546 words. Sequel to Dreamer (see below). Someone in 221B Baker Street may be having inappropriate dreams about his flatmate. Are they a reflection of his real desires or just his mind letting off steam, and is a romantic relationship truly unlikely between the two of them? Translated into Russian on ficbook.net or on AO3 (see Dreamer below for link)
Dreamer - R. 1895 words(!) All John wants is a good night’s sleep, and possibly a nice dream to go with it. So what on earth keeps waking him up just as the dream’s getting to the good bit...? Translated into Russian on ficbook.net or AO3
We’ll never be done - PG-13. 5916 words. That Sherlock would collapse at the end of a long case is hardly surprising – the man pushes himself too hard, everyone knows that. It’s a straightforward problem with an obvious explanation... Isn’t it?
Next PG. 697 words. Sometimes there was a day when John didn’t think of Sherlock. Today was not such a day. (A post-Season 2 story) Translated into Russian
Quintessential - NC-17. 1700 words. A short holiday. A change of scene. A complete break... Yeah, right. Why does John’s life always have to be so complicated? And can he rise to an unexpected challenge? (Co-written with Atlin Merrick, Anarion, Mirith, and Verity Burns)
Revelation - G. 221 words. Mycroft brings startling news. Post-Reichenbach but no spoilers
Something new - PG. 766 words. Sherlock presents John with a surprising gift and an unexpected proposition. Will John accept either of them? Translated into French; into Danish; and into Slovak
Etc. - PG-13. 221 words. “Sherlock? We’ve got a mouse.”
The Day Before You Came - PG-13. 3561 words. It took the world’s most cheerful cab driver to make John realise that he was living an ABBA song
There’s Something About Morstan - PG. 1924 words. Why does Sherlock find himself positively approving of the budding relationship between John and their new client? He investigates ... and learns the terrifying truth. Translated into Russian on ficbook.net or AO3; translated into Chinese
By any other name - PG. 221 words. He has always hated his name
Susan - PG-13. 221 words. The man with the startling blue eyes, dark curly hair and long dark coat stood up and walked over
Rien ne va plus - PG-13. 889 words. Her hip was giving her hell tonight. Translated into Russian on ficbook.net and AO3; into French; and into Czech
Ella - R. 825 words. John finds comfort and shelter from an unexpected source. (NOT a post-Reichenbach story despite the title, but one spoiler for “A Scandal in Belgravia”)
Partners in Crime - R. 884 words. John is not in a good mood, but does Sherlock realise why? (Co-written with Anarion, Atlin Merrick and Verity Burns)
Courting Unending - PG-13. 1976 words. It was forty-one months since everyone who knew them had believed that Sherlock and John had been killed in the explosion at the disused factory
Frothy Preparation - PG-13. 221 words. Despite his usual reluctance to eat anything, Sherlock had an amazing habit of appearing whenever John had food in his hands
Courting is Over - PG-13. 21,627 words. Sarah Sawyer’s life was never the same after she met John Watson and his crazy flatmate. When the crazy flatmate’s brother came on the scene, life got really weird
Get Thinking - G. 221 words. Sherlock will use any excuse not to help with the household chores, but this is a new one ...
Shush - PG-13. 1179 words. A party for John and Sherlock. Anderson and alcohol. What could possibly go wrong?
A Good Man - PG-13. 221 words. The idiot shouldn’t even have been there
Unexpected Item - PG. 514 words. John is a bit flustered when he and Sherlock are first observed kissing in public. But that’s OK, because Sherlock is ready to explain everything to whoever needs telling. Oh, wait, is that really a good idea ...?
Coming Together - R. 221 words. John and Sherlock are reunited after a brief separation. (Co-written with Atlin Merrick and Verity Burns)
Distraction - G. 100 words. Sherlock hasn’t had a case for eighteen days and is bored witless. Recorded as a video-fic by Mirith Griffin. Translated into Polish
Flatmates should know the worst about each other - PG. 221 words. There are many things that John has to tolerate now that he lives with Sherlock, but nobody ever prepared him for this
Proper Genius - PG. 221 words. Sally always said he would end up becoming a killer through sheer boredom
A Study in Sherlock - PG-13. 3011 words. Sherlock asks an awkward question, and John struggles to answer helpfully without revealing his hidden feelings towards his flatmate. With Podfic (download here). Also translated into Russian on ficbook.net or AO3 ; into French by two different translators here and here ; and into Czech on Wordpress and AO3
Author, Author - NC-17. 1321 words. Sexytimes for John and Sherlock suddenly don’t feel quite appropriate. John discovers the startling reason why. Translated into Russian on ficbook.net and AO3
A Study in Anger - PG. 221 words. He doesn’t want to go to school today
Tourniquet - R. 2962 words. Traumatic events affecting the inhabitants of 221B result in Anderson finding himself at the local hospital offering to try and help
Gives You Wings - PG. 221 words. Sherlock’s newest case gets John a bit more excited than usual. (At the time of publishing, probably the only Sherlock/Formula 1 Grand Prix crossover in existence! [Other fics are now available.])
You, I desire - PG. 1046 words. John takes Sherlock to the theatre. Someone on the stage causes John to make a startling realisation
Re-set - PG. 1929 words. John suffers nightmares after the events of “The Great Game”, but his dreams aren’t always reflective of what really happened that night
The Click of the K - PG. 221 words. Inspired by the way that Sherlock occasionally loudly clicks the ‘k’ at the end of words
Feeding Frenzy - PG. 221 words. Cooking dinner at the flat: how hard can it be?
Crisis - PG-13. 379 words. John’s feelings and fears as he faces General Shan in the Tramway tunnel
Sherlock macros (newest first)
It's Murder on the Knees
Diamonds are hard work (Sherlock/Doctor Who crossover - spoilers for DW episode ‘Heaven Sent’)
Where would you kill Lestrade?!
One job, Gavin
The Other One (Sherlock/Cabin Pressure crossover)
You're always playing ... (Sherlock/Cabin Pressure crossover)
Mystrade is everywhere
Sherlock and Shappey (Sherlock/Cabin Pressure crossover)
Lestrade doesn’t understand the rules (Sherlock/Cabin Pressure crossover)
Honey, you should see Sherlock in a crown
Sherlock meets Izzard (Major spoilers for “The Reichenbach Fall”)
Sherlock meets Izzard (again) (Major spoilers for “The Reichenbach Fall”)
Sherlock meets Izzard (yet again)
No strawberry jam
Understanding people in Ipswich (Sherlock/Cabin Pressure crossover)
Just what you need after a goose smoothie (Sherlock/Cabin Pressure crossover)
You may be wondering why we’ve asked you all to gather together (Sherlock/Cabin Pressure crossover)
32 men went to mow (Sherlock/Cabin Pressure crossover)
A Day in the Life of a Consulting Detective
To Ganymede and Titan (Sherlock/Red Dwarf crossover)
Dem Hands (Benedict Cumberbatch)
DVD commentary macros (Sherlock “The Great Game” commentary)
Dear Santa My first ‘Sherlock’ macro!
Many more macros – made by various talented people – can be seen on I Haz a Blanket
“Three Patch Podcast” including an interview with me about my transcript work for the Sherlock fandom, first broadcast on 1 March 2015
“The Game Is On,” An Afternoon with Mark Gatiss Summary of the afternoon with members of the “Sherlock” cast and production team, 11 November 2012
An Afternoon with Mark Gatiss Summary of the afternoon with Andrew Scott, Amanda Abbington, Peter Capaldi, Sue Perkins, Derren Brown and Miranda Richardson, 16 November 2014
I haz a (fake) Belstaff My new Sherlock-esque Coat