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Ariane DeVere
Sherlock fic: Fifty 
10th-Sep-2013 01:45 pm
CP - I'll just be really excited
Title: Fifty
Author
: Ariane DeVere
Word count: 221 (plus another 221 in the Author’s Note). So that’ll be ... umm ... 442, then.
Rating: PG

Summary: In which the author indulges in the tiniest bit of meta – and the biggest bit of crack – and demolishes the heck out of the fourth wall to celebrate writing her fiftieth story.



Fifty

“Give me some help here, Sherlock!”

“I will not assist you, Miss DeVere,” Sherlock sternly told her.

“But it’s my fiftieth story!” Ariane protested. “I’ve looked all through my notebook – and by the way, I’ve now filled it completely – for suitable storylines that I haven’t already used. You’ve got to give me something!”

“There has already been far too much fanfiction about myself and John,” Sherlock complained. “Why would I want to encourage more?”

“Because if you don’t give me some ideas, I’ll have to let the plotbunny run riot,” Ari purred smugly.

“Get out,” Sherlock said, standing and pointing towards the door. “Don’t wait until John returns, or I will make him shoot you.”

“John won’t shoot me, silly boy,” Ari said with a confident smile on her face.

“Why not?” Sherlock asked, then rolled his eyes in annoyance. “Oh, of course. Because you’ve got the pen.”

“I’ve got the pen,” Ari said serenely.

“Leave!” Sherlock told her.

“All right,” she said as she headed for the door, “but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Two days later Sherlock vowed to shoot Ariane himself when, no matter how hard he tried to resist – and in front of many giggling police officers – he found himself loudly yelling at John, “Never mind your long dangly things – what about my collection of begonias?!




The obligatory and explanatory (and celebratory) 221B Author’s Note: Story number fifty – which coincided with me filling the first notebook I’d bought to write fanfic ideas into.

I was aware that I was approaching my fiftieth story (at least for Sherlock and Cabin Pressure) and had already thought that it ought to be crack instead of the two more serious stories I was working on. Having made a mental note that I should check the notebook carefully to see if there was unused stuff to transfer to the next book, I suddenly remembered how, months previously, I had channel-surfed into ’The Hoobs’ (a British kids’ TV show) one morning and the first thing I heard one of the puppets saying was the ‘dangly things’ line. It sounded so funny out of context that I wrote it down. I didn’t think, though, that I would ever find a way to use it in a fic.

Now, how am I going to incorporate that other line I found written down out of context: “I like my men like I like my......”

Shush, Ari – keep your powder dry.

Confession: when I went back to check the note, it actually said, “... my collection of pansies” but I’m sure my plotbunny made me mis-remember so that I used it. And would I really want that line as the first one in my new book?!


Comments 
10th-Sep-2013 12:57 pm (UTC)
Hehehehe :)

Begonias.

*continues giggling softly and manically to herself*
13th-Sep-2013 08:39 am (UTC)
And Verity and I fretted about whether "fuschias" were funny in my previous story!
10th-Sep-2013 01:26 pm (UTC)
*snorts with uncontrollable giggles*

How do you do it? I could never come up with this stuff in a million years - you're so versatile, honey!

An epic 50th story - and I especially liked the touch with the pen. Sherlock never does seem to have the pen!

Looking forward to the next 50!
13th-Sep-2013 08:40 am (UTC)
Thank you, sweetie!
10th-Sep-2013 06:24 pm (UTC)
"“Why not?” Sherlock asked, then rolled his eyes in annoyance. “Oh, of course. Because you’ve got the pen.”

“I’ve got the pen,” Ari said serenely."


*giggle* Besting Sherlock, eh?!!!

Many congratulations on your fiftieth story - that's a remarkable achievement; I've a long way to go yet before I've read them all, but please don't stop adding to the collection (of stories that is, not begonias or pansies!)

13th-Sep-2013 08:41 am (UTC)
Thank you very much! It sounds a lot, but many of them are only short. Still, it's still quite an exciting number to reach.

I'll keep writing 'em if the bunny keeps suggesting 'em!
13th-Sep-2013 06:53 pm (UTC)
Would that be the glow-in-the-dark bunny? *whistles*
14th-Sep-2013 11:21 am (UTC)
My bunny glows all the time ... but never in green, as far as I can tell!
(Deleted comment)
13th-Sep-2013 08:42 am (UTC)
Thank you! I hope to keep being inspired to write.
11th-Sep-2013 10:28 am (UTC)
*tries not to burst out laughing* *fails*

Perfect story after all the angst! (You still owe us some fluff, don't think I'll forget that) Congratulations on 50 stories, I'm really grateful for all the fun, the angst, the hot and even the cliffhangers.
13th-Sep-2013 08:45 am (UTC)
Nag, nag, nag! You'd better talk to the bun, not me, if you want fluff!

But I'm glad you liked this one despite the lack of fluff!
12th-Sep-2013 12:09 am (UTC)
“Give me some help here, Sherlock!”
“I will not assist you, Miss DeVere,” Sherlock sternly told her.

I'm torn between a raging jealousy (because you talked to Sherlock) and an intense relief (because at least he doesn't call you "sweetheart"). Anyway, how could you expect him to help you? I mean, you make him marry Mary. You killed John. You made John leave him. He must see you as his second arch-enemy! I'm sure he'd change his mind if you wrote something fluffy now. (This is a subtle encouragement to write fluff.)

“There has already been far too much fanfiction about myself and John,”
WRONG. Never enough. (This is a subtle encouragement to write more fics.)

Story number fifty – which coincided with me filling the first notebook I’d bought to write fanfic ideas into.
I want to know how many pages this notebook has. And if you write in big letters.

Congratulations on your 50th Cumberbatch-related story! It's funny and unexpected, which is... not unexpected. :D
13th-Sep-2013 08:58 am (UTC)
an intense relief (because at least he doesn't call you "sweetheart").
Ah, but remember that this starts mid-way through the conversation. You have NO IDEA what we said or did to each other before then. *snigger*

He must see you as his second arch-enemy!
And Sherlock likes enemies. Nuff said. We're made for each other.

(This is a subtle encouragement to write fluff.)
Again with the insistence that I write fluff! Me! Little Miss Chuck-in-a-twist-that-even-surprises-those-who-are-expecting-a-twist. How am I supposed to write fluff without a twist that'll upset people? I'm just not a fluff writer, and I haven't even ... ooh. *gets a faraway look*

*dramatic pause, leaving her readers in antici...*
14th-Sep-2013 06:03 am (UTC)
Well, congratulations on your 50th story, that's quite a milestone. :-) Up to this point, "Initially, He Wanted To Be a Pilot" is my favorite one, and I also thought "Distraction" was so cute that I giggled for a good 5 minutes about it... I'll be interested to see how you manage to top those. :-)
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