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Ariane DeVere
Sherlock, Season 3, episode 3 transcript: His Last Vow, part 4 
18th-Jan-2014 05:57 pm
Sherlock - HLV Transcript
Sherlock, Season 3, episode 3 transcript: His Last Vow, part 4

Once more, all my love and hugs go to the fantastic group of people who worked with me on the Season 3 transcripts – both Verity Burns and all the members of Team Ari. Without their careful checking of each section to tell me if my English had gone to pot, or I had misheard a line/word, or I had missed something important in the background, or I had missed out an entire line (it happened too often for it to be funny by the end), these transcripts would not only have gone up much later but would have been far too full of errors for my obsessive nature to cope with. Thanks to every one of you, gang. Ari xxx

Now, where’s that ‘bed’ thing I used to lie in occasionally? I need to do some of that ‘sleep’ stuff which I vaguely remember, in case the Season 3 DVD that comes out on Monday has commentaries on it. *cries*

ETA: Sadly(ish), there are no episode commentaries on the DVD. However, there are three DVD extras.

*limbers up fingers again*

So, yes, the typing continues ...



Transcript by Ariane DeVere aka Callie Sullivan.

Polite request: If you take extracts from this transcript for use elsewhere, and especially if you repost my own words, it would be kind if you would acknowledge the source and/or give a link back to this transcript. Thanks.

Sherlock, Season 3, episode 3 transcript: His Last Vow, part 4

Return to part 1 / Return to part 2 / Return to part 3

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APPLEDORE. In a large sitting room where one entire long wall is made of glass and looks out to the grounds, Magnussen lowers his whiskey glass at the sound of an approaching helicopter. The helicopter – which has the “CAM” logo on its side – flies down towards the house while Sherlock and John look down from inside the vehicle. They land on the grass not far from the house while Magnussen continues to sit on a long curved white leather sofa, not looking round to watch their arrival. Security men walk towards the helicopter while another stands on the patio outside the house. The boys get out and are escorted towards the house and the helicopter takes off and flies away. Shortly afterwards a security man leads the boys through an inside area which is lined with large green exotic plants, while another man follows behind. Magnussen is sitting on the sofa one level above them. He takes a drink from his glass as his men escort Sherlock and John out of an elevator and into the room. Sherlock stops a couple of paces in front of the sofa while John stands a little way behind and to one side of him. Magnussen nods to his men and they turn and leave.
MAGNUSSEN (lifting his glass): I would offer you a drink but it’s very rare and expensive.
(He drinks. Sherlock turns and sits down on the sofa a couple of feet to Magnussen’s right. He sighs with a contented sound and slaps his hands down on the white leather either side of him, putting the laptop down between himself and the other man, then crosses his legs and clasps his hands in his lap. He looks across to the other side of the room.)
SHERLOCK (calmly): Oh. It was you.
(Projected onto a glass wall opposite them, footage is playing of Sherlock’s rescue of John from the bonfire. The footage repeats on a continuous loop.)
MAGNUSSEN: Yes, of course.
(John glances over his shoulder and turns back, then does a double-take.)
MAGNUSSEN: Very hard to find a pressure point on you, Mr Holmes.
SHERLOCK: Mm.
(John turns and walks towards the wall.)
MAGNUSSEN: The drugs thing I never believed for a moment.
(John continues walking closer to the wall, staring at the footage with his mouth open.)
MAGNUSSEN: Anyway, you wouldn’t care if it was exposed, would you?
(Sherlock tilts his head, quirks his mouth and shrugs.)
MAGNUSSEN (looking at the screen): But look how you care about John Watson.
(In slow motion on the footage, Sherlock drags John out from under the bonfire again.)
MAGNUSSEN: Your damsel in distress.
(John turns around.)
JOHN: You ... (he walks closer to Magnussen, his voice tight and furious) ... put me in a fire ... for leverage?
MAGNUSSEN: Oh, I’d never let you burn, Doctor Watson. (He sits up and puts his glass onto the clear glass table in front of him, then looks up at John again.) I had people standing by.
(Sherlock looks up thoughtfully at Magnussen as he stands.)
MAGNUSSEN: I’m not a murderer ... unlike your wife.
(John stares up at him grimly. He holds his gaze for a while, then glances across to Sherlock. Magnussen walks over towards the wall.)
MAGNUSSEN: Let me explain how leverage works, Doctor Watson.
(Reaching the wall, he puts one finger on it at the side of the projected footage. There’s a beep and as Magnussen slides his finger across the glass, the footage slides with it and disappears off to the side.)
MAGNUSSEN (turning back to the others): For those who understand these things, Mycroft Holmes is the most powerful man in the country. Well ... apart from me.
(John tilts his head at him questioningly. The side of Sherlock’s mouth lifts in a small smile.)
MAGNUSSEN: Mycroft’s pressure point is his junkie detective brother, Sherlock.
(He walks back across the room to the sofa.)
MAGNUSSEN: And Sherlock’s pressure point is his best friend, John Watson. John Watson’s pressure point is his wife. I own John Watson’s wife ... (he looks round to Sherlock) ... I own Mycroft. (He sits down.) He’s what I’m getting for Christmas.
(Even though the laptop is almost within his reach, he holds out his hand towards Sherlock. Without looking round, Sherlock shoves it across the sofa towards him.)
SHERLOCK: It’s an exchange, not a gift.
(He stands up, while Magnussen raises his eyebrows at him. Sherlock walks a few paces forward, then turns round again. Magnussen picks up the laptop.)
MAGNUSSEN: Forgive me, but ... (he holds the laptop to his chest and runs his fingers over the back) ... I already seem to have it.
SHERLOCK: It’s password protected.
(Magnussen continues to run his fingers over the machine.)
SHERLOCK: In return for the password, you will give me any material in your possession pertaining to the woman I know as Mary Watson.
MAGNUSSEN: Oh, she’s bad, that one. So many dead people. You should see what I’ve seen.
JOHN: I don’t need to see it.
MAGNUSSEN: You might enjoy it, though.
(John swallows but holds his gaze.)
MAGNUSSEN: I enjoy it.
(John nods as if not surprised.)
SHERLOCK (nonchalantly): Then why don’t you show us?
MAGNUSSEN: Show you Appledore?
(He puts the laptop onto the sofa beside him, then looks back at Sherlock.)
MAGNUSSEN: The secret vaults? Is that what you want?
SHERLOCK (intensely): I want everything you’ve got on Mary.
(Magnussen lets out a short breathy laugh, shaking his head a little, then he lowers his eyes, scratches the back of his head and chuckles for a few seconds. John’s mouth twists and he shoots a brief glance towards Sherlock. Eventually Magnussen stops sniggering and looks down to the laptop, patting it and grimacing a little.)
MAGNUSSEN: You know, I honestly expected something good.
SHERLOCK: Oh, I think you’ll find the contents of that laptop ...
MAGNUSSEN: ... include a GPS locator. By now, your brother will have noticed the theft, and security services will be converging on this house. Having arrived ... (he looks down at the laptop) ... they’ll find top secret information in my hands ... (he reaches forward and picks up his glass from the table) ... and have every justification to search my vaults. They will discover further information of this kind and I’ll be imprisoned. You will be exonerated, and restored to your smelly little apartment to solve crimes with Mr and Mrs Psychopath.
(He looks at John, who holds his gaze, though his cheeks move as if he is gritting his teeth a little. Only once Magnussen starts talking again does John cast a quick glance at Sherlock.)
MAGNUSSEN (lifting his glass closer to his mouth): Mycroft has been looking for this opportunity for a long time. He’ll be a very, very proud big brother.
(He drinks, emptying the glass.)
SHERLOCK: The fact that you know it’s going to happen isn’t going to stop it.
(Offscreen, Magnussen puts his glass down on the table.)
MAGNUSSEN: Then why am I smiling?
(He looks up at Sherlock and smiles a little. Sherlock looks at him thoughtfully.)
MAGNUSSEN: Ask me.
JOHN (taking one step towards him): Why are you smiling?
MAGNUSSEN (looking down a little): Because Sherlock Holmes has made one enormous mistake which will destroy the lives of everyone he loves ...
(His eyes are back on Sherlock again.)
MAGNUSSEN: ... and everything he holds dear.
(He stands up slowly.)
MAGNUSSEN: Let me show you the Appledore vaults.
(He leads the others across the room and through the open glass doors of the study we have seen before. He walks across to the wooden doors at the side of the room and then turns back to the others, putting a hand on the doors.)
MAGNUSSEN: The entrance to my vaults. This is where I keep you all.
(He turns and takes hold of the door handles, then pulls the doors open. We are looking from inside the doors towards Magnussen and the other two as they look inside. Magnussen steps slowly through the doors, looking all around at what we can’t yet see, while Sherlock and John look uncertainly at what they can see. After a moment Magnussen slowly begins to turn around and the perspective shifts to a view from behind the boys. Inside the doors is nothing more than a small windowless room, painted white and brightly lit. It is no more than a few feet deep and the ceiling is about eight feet high. There are no shelves, no library stacks, no filing cabinets, no grotesque dolls, stuffed animals or sculptures. The only thing in the room is a metal and leather low-backed executive chair. As Magnussen slowly continues to turn around, Sherlock’s eyes quickly skim around the whiteness, then his eyes go back to Magnussen.)
JOHN: Okay – so where are the vaults, then?
MAGNUSSEN (looking at him): Vaults? What vaults? There are no vaults beneath this building.
(He sits down on the chair, then gestures around the room.)
MAGNUSSEN: They’re all in here.
(John frowns and blinks. Sherlock’s eyes are wide as if he is beginning to realise the truth. Magnussen leans forward and slowly raises the fingers of his right hand to touch his temple.)
MAGNUSSEN: The Appledore vaults are my Mind Palace. You know about Mind Palaces, don’t you, Sherlock?
(Sherlock swallows and then opens his mouth slightly.)
MAGNUSSEN: How to store information so you never forget it – by picturing it. I just sit here, I close my eyes ... (he does so, slowly lowering his head) ... and down I go to my vaults.
(Inside his head, he opens his eyes and then walks down the wooden spiral staircase.)
MAGNUSSEN (sitting with his eyes closed in the white room): I can go anywhere inside my vaults ...
(In his head, he walks through the library stacks, his fingers flickering towards the shelves.)
MAGNUSSEN: ... my memories.
(In his head, he reaches the dark, creepy end of the Mind Palace. In the white room, he turns his head from side to side a little with his eyes still closed. In his Mind Palace he walks past the creepy displayed objects. In the white room he lifts his right hand and reaches forward.)
MAGNUSSEN: I’ll look at the files on Mrs Watson.
(In his Mind Palace, he reaches towards a filing cabinet with his right hand. He can hear himself pull one of the drawers open. Outside the white room, Sherlock closes his eyes and shakes his head a little, his lips pulled back from his teeth. John stares at Magnussen as he raises both hands and flickers his fingers in front of him as if he is working his way through the files inside the imaginary drawer. Magnussen can hear the files moving under his fingers. John clears his throat and looks down with a humourless smile as he seems to start to understand how Magnussen’s mind works. Still flicking through the files in the drawer, Magnussen hums idly to himself while, in his Mind Palace, he works his way along the files.)
MAGNUSSEN: Mmm, ah. (In the white room he lifts his right hand as if lifting a folder out of the drawer.) This is one of my favourites. (He sits back in the chair while, in his head, he looks at the file with a picture of Mary paper-clipped to the inside.) Oh, it’s so exciting.
(Lowering his head in the white room with his eyes still closed, he moves his hands as if he is turning the pages inside the file. Sherlock lowers his head with a shocked look on his face while Magnussen chuckles quietly. In his Mind Palace Magnussen is looking at a sheet of paper to which is stuck a photograph of Mary looking grimly into the camera, and another photograph which is too blurry to see clearly.)
MAGNUSSEN: All those wet jobs for the CIA. Ooh!
(In the white room, he points to an imaginary page in the file.)
MAGNUSSEN: She’s gone a bit ... freelance now. Bad girl.
(He turns the imaginary page and sniggers. Inside his Mind Palace he sniggers again, letting out an amused, “Ohh!” In the white room he holds up a finger, then chuckles even more, then turns another imaginary page, still smiling.)
MAGNUSSEN: Ah, she is so wicked.
(In his Mind Palace he turns back to the front page of the file. In the white room he lifts his right hand as if putting the closed file back into the cabinet.)
MAGNUSSEN: I can really see why you like her.
(With both hands, he pushes the imaginary drawer closed again. In his Mind Palace he does likewise with the ‘real’ drawer. In the white room he lifts both hands and turns them over, then opens his eyes and looks at Sherlock.)
MAGNUSSEN: You see?
(John clears his throat.)
JOHN: So there are no documents. You don’t actually have anything here.
MAGNUSSEN: Oh, sometimes I send out for something ... (he lifts his left hand and looks down at his watch) ... if I really need it ...
(Sherlock looks away a little, closing his eyes briefly.)
MAGNUSSEN: ... but mostly I just remember it all.
JOHN (shaking his head): I don’t understand.
MAGNUSSEN: You should have that on a T-shirt.
JOHN: You just remember it all?
MAGNUSSEN (looking at Sherlock): It’s all about knowledge. Everything is. Knowing is owning.
JOHN: But if you just know it, then you don’t have proof.
MAGNUSSEN: Proof? What would I need proof for? I’m in news, you moron. I don’t have to prove it – I just have to print it.
(Sherlock’s gaze is lowered and his expression suggests that he is fully aware of how badly he has miscalculated.)
MAGNUSSEN (standing up and buttoning his jacket): Speaking of news, you’ll both be heavily featured tomorrow – trying to sell state secrets to me.
(He tuts disapprovingly, then looks at his watch again.)
MAGNUSSEN: Let’s go outside. They’ll be here shortly.
(He walks out of the room and heads towards the glass doors.)
MAGNUSSEN: Can’t wait to see you arrested.
(John watches him go, then steps closer to his friend.)
JOHN (quietly): Sherlock, do we have a plan?
(Sherlock is fixed in place, still looking down towards the floor of the white room, his gaze unfocused.)
JOHN (sternly): Sherlock.
(When Sherlock still doesn’t move, John turns and walks away. Sherlock shuts his eyes, screwing them closed with a look of despair.
Magnussen walks across the sitting room to a glass door which leads out onto a patio. He goes outside and looks around. The sky is darkening, so apparently it is early evening. John follows him out onto the patio.)

MAGNUSSEN: They’re taking their time, aren’t they?
(John stops beside him, not looking at him.)
JOHN: I still don’t understand.
MAGNUSSEN (looking up into the sky): And there’s the back of the T-shirt.
(Sherlock has finally left the study and is walking slowly towards the patio door.)
JOHN (turning his head to look at Magnussen): You just know things. How does that work?
(Magnussen turns to face him as Sherlock walks out onto the patio and stops just outside the door.)
MAGNUSSEN (to John): I just love your little soldier face. I’d like to punch it.
(John stares back at him, his eyes wide.)
MAGNUSSEN: Bring it over here a minute.
(John glances over to Sherlock.)
MAGNUSSEN: Come on.
(Very reluctantly and not meeting his eyes, Sherlock gives John a short nod, his face full of pain at having to do this.)
MAGNUSSEN (to John): For Mary. Bring me your face.
(John looks back to Magnussen, who nods slightly. Clearing his throat, John slowly takes two steps closer to him. Magnussen turns a little to face him, then leans down to him.)
MAGNUSSEN: Lean forward a bit and stick your face out.
(John clears his throat again, adjusting his footing.)
MAGNUSSEN (smirking at him): Please?
(He leans closer, chuckling. John locks his gaze on him while he does as instructed.)
MAGNUSSEN: Now, can I flick it?
(John snorts in disbelief, lowering his head and shaking it before raising it again.)
MAGNUSSEN: Can I flick your face?
(Pursing his lips and looking at him again, John leans forward. Magnussen lifts his right hand with the back towards John, bends his middle finger under his thumb, holds his hand close to John’s left cheek and then releases the middle finger to flick sharply against his cheek. John blinks instinctively and tilts his head at the man, still holding his gaze. Magnussen flicks his cheek again, then chuckles.)
MAGNUSSEN: I just love doing this.
(He looks across to Sherlock, whose eyes are lowered, the pain still in his face.)
MAGNUSSEN: I could do it all day.
(He chuckles again, then turns back to John.)
MAGNUSSEN: It works like this, John. I know who Mary hurt and killed.
(He flicks his cheek again. Sherlock has now lifted his gaze and is looking at him, his expression grim.)
MAGNUSSEN (to John): I know where to find people who hate her.
(He flicks him again, then again. The soldier stares back at him, tolerating it only because he has no choice.)
MAGNUSSEN: I know where they live; I know their phone numbers.
(He flicks him twice more.)
MAGNUSSEN: All in my Mind Palace – all of it.
(Sherlock’s gaze towards him becomes more intense.)
MAGNUSSEN (to John): I could phone them right now and tear your whole life down – and I will ...
(Sherlock’s lips are slightly lifted from his teeth.)
MAGNUSSEN (to John): ... unless you let me flick your face.
(He flicks him three times. Sherlock continues to glare at him with his teeth bared.)
MAGNUSSEN (to John): This is what I do to people. This is what I do to whole countries ...
(He flicks him again, then straightens up.)
MAGNUSSEN: ... just because I know.
(He bends back down to John.)

MAGNUSSEN: Can I do your eye now?
(John turns his head a little, looking away.)
MAGNUSSEN: See if you can keep it open, hmm?
(Almost before John turns back to him, he flicks John’s left eyebrow. John’s eyes instinctively flinch closed. Magnussen sniggers and flicks his eyebrow again.)
MAGNUSSEN: Come on. For Mary. Keep it open.
(He bends his finger under his thumb again.)
JOHN: Sherlock?
SHERLOCK (quietly, his voice apologetic): Let him. I’m sorry.
(Magnussen looks round to him for a moment.)
SHERLOCK: Just ... let him.
(John grimaces slightly.)
MAGNUSSEN (turning back to him): Come on. Eye open.
(With a bemused look on his face, he flicks John’s eyebrow again, and again John’s eyes flinch closed for a moment before he glares back at the man as he sniggers and flicks him again. He laughs as John breathes harshly.)
MAGNUSSEN (cheerfully): It’s difficult, isn’t it? (He straightens up.) Janine managed it once. (He looks towards Sherlock.) She makes the funniest noises.
(The sound of an approaching helicopter can be heard. It soars over the roof and at the same time, armed police marksmen run towards the patio. The helicopter drops down to hover some yards away, its spotlight aimed towards the men on the patio. As they are buffeted by the wind from the rotors, Mycroft’s voice blares out over a speaker on the helicopter.)
MYCROFT’s VOICE (over speaker): Sherlock Holmes and John Watson.
(He is sitting in the helicopter wearing a headset and microphone.)
MYCROFT’s VOICE (over speaker): Stand away from that man.
(Sherlock looks away. Magnussen looks over towards him.)
MAGNUSSEN: Here we go, Mr Holmes!
SHERLOCK (loudly over the noise of the hovering helicopter, stepping forward and walking to John’s side): To clarify: Appledore’s vaults only exist in your mind, nowhere else, just there.
MAGNUSSEN (looking towards the helicopter): They’re not real. They never have been.
(Sherlock nods, looking down.)
MYCROFT’s VOICE (over speaker): Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. Step away.
(Magnussen walks forward a couple of steps, waving his hands calmly at the helicopter.)

MAGNUSSEN (loudly): It’s fine! They’re harmless!
(The armed police continue moving into position, aiming their rifles towards the patio.)
POLICE OFFICER (over radio): Target is not armed. I repeat, target is not armed.
JOHN (looking round to his friend): Sherlock, what do we do?
(He turns to look at the helicopter again.)
MAGNUSSEN (over his shoulder): Nothing! (He looks round at them.) There’s nothing to be done! Oh, I’m not a villain. I have no evil plan. I’m a businessman, acquiring assets. You happen to be one of them!
(While John continues to stare towards the helicopter, Sherlock turns his head and looks at his friend, and his gaze is penetrating and intense.)
MAGNUSSEN: Sorry. No chance for you to be a hero this time, Mr Holmes.
(Sherlock looks away from John, lowering his gaze but still with a determined look on it. Magnussen turns away from him.)
MYCROFT’s VOICE (over speaker): Sherlock Holmes and John Watson, stand away from that man. Do it now.
SHERLOCK (loudly, lifting his head): Oh, do your research.
(He steps closer to John, reaches round behind him and into John’s coat pocket, then steps away again and walks forward towards Magnussen.)
SHERLOCK: I’m not a hero ...
(Magnussen turns to look at him.)
SHERLOCK: ... I’m a high-functioning sociopath.
(He widens his eyes and glares at the man.)
SHERLOCK: Merry Christmas!
(He raises John’s pistol, aims it at Magnussen’s head and fires. As John recoils and even before Magnussen hits the ground, Sherlock drops the gun to the patio and turns towards the helicopter, raising his hands.)

POLICE OFFICER (over radio): Man down, man down.
SHERLOCK (loudly): Get away from me, John! (He turns to look at him.) Stay well back!
JOHN (desperately): Christ, Sherlock!
(He raises his own hands.)
MYCROFT (frantically, into his microphone): Stand fire!
(The police marksmen run towards the patio, aiming their rifles at Sherlock as he faces them.)
MYCROFT’s VOICE (over speaker): Do not fire on Sherlock Holmes! Do not fire!
(The marksmen take up positions, aiming their laser sights towards Sherlock.)

JOHN: Oh, Christ, Sherlock.
(Keeping his hands raised, Sherlock looks round to him again.)
SHERLOCK: Give my love to Mary.
(John stares at him, his face full of anguish.)
SHERLOCK: Tell her she’s safe now.
(He takes one final look at his best friend and then turns towards the marksmen and the helicopter and begins to sink slowly to his knees. John holds his own hands high, his eyes full of despair. Sherlock kneels on the patio, his hands raised and his face anguished. The beams from the laser sights travel over his face as he stares ahead of himself, knowing that he has done something from which no-one can save him.
In the helicopter, Mycroft takes off his headset and stares in equal despair towards his brother.)

MYCROFT (softly, anguished): Oh, Sherlock. What have you done?
(He can’t see the adult Sherlock on the patio. Instead, it’s as if his little eleven year old brother is standing there, his face full of terror as he stares upwards, his hands raised, his curly hair buffeted by the wind from the helicopter’s rotor blades, and tears pouring down his face. The young boy lowers his head, weeping.)

[Your transcriber breaks off for a bloody good cry, having torn her heart to pieces typing that last section.]

DAY TIME. Mycroft stands at the glass wall of a large meeting room. It may be the same room in which the parliamentary commission was held at the beginning of the episode. He has his back to the room and is looking outside. A suited man stands nearby to his right.

MYCROFT: As my colleague is fond of remarking, this country sometimes needs a blunt instrument. Equally, it sometimes needs a dagger – a scalpel wielded with precision and without remorse.
(He looks to his left.)
MYCROFT: There will always come a time when we need Sherlock Holmes.
(Several men sitting at tables in the room look back at him silently but the man standing near him speaks.)
SIR EDWIN: If this is some expression of familial sentiment ...
(Mycroft rolls his eyes, sighs and turns to him.)
MYCROFT: Don’t be absurd. I am not given to outbursts of brotherly compassion.
(He looks down for a moment, then turns to Sir Edwin again.)
MYCROFT: You know what happened to the other one.
(Sir Edwin looks away, grimacing slightly. Mycroft turns to look out the window again.)
MYCROFT: In any event, there is no prison in which we could incarcerate Sherlock without causing a riot on a daily basis. The alternative, however ...
(He looks left towards where Lady Smallwood is sitting at a table.)
MYCROFT: ... would require your approval.
LADY SMALLWOOD: Hardly merciful, Mr Holmes.
MYCROFT: Regrettably, Lady Smallwood, my brother is a murderer.
(He turns away and looks out of the window again.)

AIRFIELD. DAY TIME. A black car drives along the runway towards where an executive jet is stationary on the tarmac. Standing near the nose of the plane, Sherlock, Mycroft and a security man watch the car pull up. Mary gets out of the rear door nearest the plane and John from the other. Smiling, Mary walks towards Sherlock, John following behind.

SHERLOCK (to Mary): You will look after him for me, won’t you?
MARY: Oh ... (she puts her hands on his shoulders and they kiss each other’s cheeks, then hug) ... don’t worry. I’ll keep him in trouble.
(He smiles as she releases him and pulls back.)
SHERLOCK: That’s my girl.
(She turns and walks back to where John has stopped a few paces away, and takes his hand. John nods to Sherlock in greeting, and Sherlock turns to his brother.)
SHERLOCK: Since this is likely to be the last conversation I’ll have with John Watson ...
(John sighs painfully.)
SHERLOCK: ... would you mind if we took a moment?
(Mycroft looks a little startled, but then glances over to the security man and jerks his head towards the side of the plane. The security man, Mycroft and Mary walk along the side of the jet towards the wing and Sherlock turns to John, who smiles at him and nods.)
JOHN: So, here we are.
(Looking vaguely around the airfield and clearing his throat, he steps closer.)
SHERLOCK: William Sherlock Scott Holmes.
JOHN: Sorry?
SHERLOCK: That’s the whole of it – if you’re looking for baby names.
(John chuckles.)
JOHN: No, we’ve had a scan. We’re pretty sure it’s a girl.
SHERLOCK (softly): Oh. (He smiles.) Okay.
(They both look awkwardly anywhere except at each other for several seconds.)
JOHN (vaguely, turning and looking across the airfield): Yeah. (He finally turns towards Sherlock again.) Actually, I can’t think of a single thing to say.
SHERLOCK (looking down): No, neither can I.
(He lifts his head as John steps closer and speaks quietly.)
JOHN: The game is over.
SHERLOCK (firmly, meeting his eyes): The game is never over, John ... (his tone becomes quieter) ... but there may be some new players now. It’s okay. The East Wind takes us all in the end.
JOHN: What’s that?
SHERLOCK: It’s a story my brother told me when we were kids. The East Wind – this terrifying force that lays waste to all in its path.
(He sniffs, looking into the distance.)
SHERLOCK: It seeks out the unworthy ... (he meets John’s eyes) ... and plucks them from the Earth. That was generally me.
JOHN: Nice(!)
SHERLOCK: He was a rubbish big brother.
(They both smile, then John looks down, clearing his throat.)
JOHN: So what about you, then? (He lifts his head.) Where are you actually going now?
SHERLOCK (sounding bored): Oh, some undercover work in Eastern Europe.
JOHN: For how long?
SHERLOCK (looking slightly above John’s head so as not to meet his eyes): Six months, my brother estimates. He’s never wrong.
JOHN: And then what?
(Sherlock meets his gaze for a moment, then looks down thoughtfully before raising his head and gazing off into the distance. He shrugs.)
SHERLOCK: Who knows?
(John nods and then turns away to look across the airfield again, breathing in deeply. Sherlock looks directly at him until he turns back, then looks down again.)
SHERLOCK: John, there’s something ... I should say; I-I’ve meant to say always and then never have. Since it’s unlikely we’ll ever meet again, I might as well say it now.
(He hesitates for a long time, then draws in a deep breath and raises his eyes to John’s.)
SHERLOCK: Sherlock is actually a girl’s name.
(John turns away, giggling almost silently. Sherlock smiles at him. John turns back, still smiling.)
JOHN: It’s not.
SHERLOCK (shrugging): It was worth a try.
JOHN: We’re not naming our daughter after you.
SHERLOCK: I think it could work.
(John chuckles, then meets his eyes. Sherlock holds his gaze for a second, then lowers his eyes. After a moment he takes off his right glove and holds out his hand.)
SHERLOCK: To the very best of times, John.
(John hesitates for a long while, then he finally takes Sherlock’s hand and shakes it. They stand there for a couple of seconds, then Sherlock gives John’s hand one more small pump before releasing it and turning away, putting his glove back on as he walks away. John watches him walk along the side of the plane to the steps and get on board.)

Shortly afterward the plane taxies along the runway. Sherlock sits inside looking out of one of the right-hand windows. Mary and John stand by the car, holding hands and watching from the left-hand side of the plane as it lifts into the sky. Sherlock continues to gaze out of the window, and the plane flies off into the distance.

The scene fades to black and the familiar drum beat of the beginning of the show’s theme tune begins ...

... but before the actual music can start, the screen goes to static. After a moment it resolves into a football match on the
SPORTS 1 channel. The score shows SFC 0 – 0 INTER. [Click here for further information about this match.] Men’s voices can be heard shouting encouragingly as the commentary plays over the footage.
COMMENTATOR: Smith brings it inside. This looks good.
(The screen fritzes briefly, then the perspective pulls back a little and we see that this is a television on the wall inside a pub.)
COMMENTATOR (on the TV): Cassandra comes in for a shot ...
(On the TV, a player volleys the ball towards the goal but it flies over the top. In the pub, the customers groan.)
COMMENTATOR (on the TV): Oh, he missed it!
(One of the customers is Greg Lestrade, who is standing at the bar. He grimaces. The TV can be heard fritzing again and one of the male customers calls out, presumably to the landlord.)
CUSTOMER: Oi! What’s up with the telly? There’s something wrong with the telly, mate!
(The TV can be heard fritzing even more.)
ANOTHER CUSTOMER: Give it a whack, then!
(Greg looks up at the screen, which has gone to static, but it slowly begins to clear and a shape can just about be seen through all the distortion. It seems to be a head and shoulders shot of someone facing to the right with their head turned away from the camera. Greg stares up at the TV and, although we can no longer see the screen, presumably the picture is becoming clearer. Greg’s face fills with shock.)
CUSTOMER: Who’s that?
(Over the TV a voice begins to speak. It is speaking through a device which distorts the voice.)
VOICE (pitched high): Did you miss me?
(It shifts to a very deep tone.)
VOICE: Did you miss me?

In 221B, Mrs Hudson is vacuuming the living room. She has the TV switched on and the voice comes over the speaker.
VOICE (pitched high): Did you miss me? Did you miss me?
(She looks at the screen – which we can’t see – and jumps in shock, then starts to scream.)

At Bart’s, Molly stares in horror from the lab into a room next door which has a TV playing on a table.

VOICE (pitched deep): Did you miss me?

In the conference room we saw earlier, Lady Smallwood stares up from her seat, apparently looking at the TV screen.
LADY SMALLWOOD: How is this possible?
SIR EDWIN (standing beside her, also looking at the screen): We don’t know, but it’s on every screen in the country – every screen simultaneously.
LADY SMALLWOOD: Has the Prime Minister been told? (She looks round and up to Sir Edwin.) And Mycroft?

MYCROFT (sitting in the back seat of a stationary car and talking into a phone): But that’s not possible.
(He opens the door and gets out.)
MYCROFT (into phone): That is simply not possible.
(He looks across to where John and Mary, holding hands and clearly still at the airfield, look towards him. He frowns at them.)
JOHN (releasing Mary’s hand and walking towards him): What’s happened?

In the executive jet, Sherlock is still looking out of the window.
MAN’s VOICE (offscreen): Sir?
(Sherlock looks round. The man holds out a phone towards him.)
MAN: It’s your brother.
(Sherlock takes the phone and holds it to his ear.)
SHERLOCK: Mycroft?
MYCROFT’s VOICE (over phone): Hello, little brother. How is the exile going?
SHERLOCK: I’ve only been gone four minutes.
MYCROFT (now sitting in the back of his car again, and smiling pleasantly): Well, I certainly hope you’ve learned your lesson. As it turns out, you’re needed.
SHERLOCK: Oh, for God’s sake. Make up your mind. Who needs me this time?
(In Mycroft’s car, the distorted voice can be heard.)
VOICE (pitched high): Did you miss me? Did you miss me?
(Mycroft looks to the front of the car where a small TV screen is set into the dashboard. On the screen is a still photograph of Jim Moriarty facing the camera and smiling. To the left of his mouth is the message:

MISS ME?

The jaw of Jim’s photograph has been animated so that it moves up and down a little as the voice repeats over and over.)
VOICE (pitched high): Did you miss me? Did you miss me?

In Piccadilly Circus in London, the huge screens above the street are each filled with the same part-animated image of Jim’s smiling face with the message beside it, and the voice plays over speakers.
VOICE (pitched high): Did you miss me? Did you miss me?
(And a view from a high vantage point shows the city of London while the voice plays on.)
VOICE (pitched high): Did you miss me? Did you miss me?

In the back of the car, as the voice plays on, Mycroft speaks a single word into his phone in response to Sherlock’s question.
MYCROFT (with a somewhat exasperated sigh in his voice): England.
(Outside the car, Mary looks at John.)

MARY: But he’s dead. I mean, you told me he was dead, Moriarty.
JOHN: Absolutely. He blew his own brains out.
MARY: So how can he be back?
JOHN (turning and looking to his right): Well, if he is ... he’d better wrap up warm.
(Mary turns to follow his gaze.)
JOHN: There’s an East Wind coming.
(He and Mary watch as Sherlock’s plane comes in to land.)

The familiar drum beat starts up again and this time the theme tune follows and the closing credits roll to the end.

And then ...

As the Hartswood, BBC and Masterpiece logos fade, Jim Moriarty, now no longer animated but live and standing facing the right, looks towards the camera straight-faced and speaks in his normal voice.

JIM: Miss me?



[PLEASE NOTE: I have had to disable comments on this page because it’s getting hammered by spambots (1704 comments at the last count!! You can’t see them, luckily for you, but I’ve got better things to do in my life than painstakingly delete small batches at a time). If you wish to comment on this page/transcript or ask any questions, please head across to the Dreamwidth version of this page, which can be found here.]




Transcriber’s additional notes (written a week after finishing posting the transcript):

I’m kind of renowned for throwing in asides during transcripts, but sometimes – much as I’m tempted – they’re not totally appropriate at the time. So I would like to add in a couple of extra observations about That Scene, the 7-minute long one that blew my mind:

Firstly, the music that starts when Sherlock opens his eyes in the cell after Jim tells him that John’s in danger. Some of you will have seen the post I made on Tumblr which seems to have sent everyone scrambling for their recordings of the episode but it’s here if you’re interested. I must have listened to that music at least 15 times before I realised its theme; and then promptly burst into tears all over again!

But with the good comes the not-so-good. Thankfully it’s not an episode glitch, I’m pleased to say. Despite working my way through these episodes second by second while writing the transcripts, I have still sat back afterwards and watched them again on the TV just for the pleasure of it. Sometimes I have the subtitles/closed captions on and I’ve kept a wary eye on them, partly to see whether I missed anything and partly to reassure myself that it was worth all the effort when I see that the BBC subtitlers got some words and lines wrong. I don’t blame them and never have: they, like me, work only from what they can hear; they don’t have a copy of the script, only a list of names that appear in the episode; plus they don’t have a loyal team checking and cross-checking their work; and I expect they’re on a far tighter deadline than even I was. So I wasn’t in the least surprised or disappointed or peeved with the subtitler when, both in The Sign of Three and in this episode, reference to Irene Adler was put on the subtitles as “the woman” rather than with an initial capital letter.

However, when the Season 3 DVD arrived and I watched the episodes yet again – just because I could ;) – I found that the subtitles were apparently written by someone else, or had been edited and so there were a few differences. Some were improvements, some were mistakes when the BBC subtitles had been correct.

Was it just because I was tired that I found myself hooting with laughter when, in the padded cell, Jim said (according to the DVD subtitles), “... and Mummy and Daddy will cry; and the women will cry ...”?

Or maybe the subtitler is also a fangirl and was just expressing her own opinion of how ‘the women’ – both in the Sherlock-verse and in the real world – would react at the news of Sherlock’s death!

*shrugs*

Yeah, maybe I’m still over-tired.

Mind you, it wasn’t as bad as at the end of the pub crawl scenes in The Sign of Three where, according to the DVD subtitles, Sherlock tells the other customer, “I know Ash!” and then, after John has pulled him away and stood him up again, he turns to the man and tells him, “Ashton. I know Ashton.”

I have no idea. Maybe the subtitler is a fan of Ashton Kutcher?!




For a partial transcript of the DVD commentary for this episode, click here.

A full list of episode transcripts, DVD commentary summaries/transcripts, and transcripts of the DVD special features can be found here.

Direct links to episode transcripts:
A Study in Pink (pilot) / A Study in Pink (broadcast) / The Blind Banker / The Great Game
A Scandal in Belgravia / The Hounds of Baskerville / The Reichenbach Fall
Many Happy Returns / The Empty Hearse / The Sign of Three / His Last Vow
The Abominable Bride
The Six Thatchers / The Lying Detective / The Final Problem


Or, to download the Episode Transcripts in Word or PDF, click here.


Comments 
18th-Jan-2014 07:30 pm (UTC)
Thanks for doing these! I appreciate it.
18th-Jan-2014 07:36 pm (UTC)
Anonymous
Oh, thanks for this! I saw a dl of this that cut off at the end of the credits, and the announcer said "you have to wait until the end of the credits!" so I knew I'd missed something. Thanks!
18th-Jan-2014 08:24 pm (UTC)
As ever, heartfelt thanks - bless you!

Now get some well deserved rest and zzzzz.

18th-Jan-2014 08:25 pm (UTC)
MAGNUSSEN: Oh, sometimes I send out for something ... (..) ... if I really need it ... (...) ... but mostly I just remember it all.

Yeah, I think that's crap. Or, at least, he's got to have a number of safety deposit boxes in banks and/or storage units b'c in order to be able to blackmail entire countries (i.e., millions of people) there simply have to be more documents involved then he's letting on. JMO. YMMV.

Pivotal moment in episode:

SHERLOCK: I’m not a hero ... (...) ... I’m a high-functioning sociopath. (He widens his eyes and glares at the man.)
SHERLOCK: Merry Christmas!
(He raises John’s pistol, aims it at Magnussen’s head and fires. As John recoils and even before Magnussen hits the ground, Sherlock drops the gun to the patio and turns towards the helicopter, raising his hands.) (...)

[Your transcriber breaks off for a bloody good cry, having torn her heart to pieces typing that last section.]


Your reader, OTOH, even on first viewing, and definitely every viewing afterwards (at the very least, at the moment when Sherlock decides to shoot) thinks only of the action movie Die Hard and John McClane saying: Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker! It also brings to mind Hans Gruber reading his little note: "Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho." But maybe I, too, am a high functioning sociopath...

MYCROFT: You know what happened to the other one.
SHERLOCK: (...) The East Wind takes us all in the end.
JOHN: What’s that?
SHERLOCK: It’s a story my brother told me when we were kids. The East Wind – this terrifying force that lays waste to all in its path.

I can just visualise the glee on Mycroft's face while reading Shirley Jackson's The Lottery to Sherlock while he's lying in bed, waiting for a nice bedtime story at age 6 or 7... (as opposed to the amazingly accurately correct age our transcriber described when first young Sherlock appeared in this episode...)*

SHERLOCK: I’ve only been gone four minutes.
MYCROFT (now sitting in the back of his car again, and smiling pleasantly): Well, I certainly hope you’ve learned your lesson. As it turns out, you’re needed.

I actually thought this was going to be Mycroft's plan at the beginning of next season (long b'4 the fatal 'six months' were up.) But I like this ending better...

JIM: Miss me?

GOD, yes!! Which is funny, actually, since he was in a lot of the first and last episodes...

Re: bed, crying, & your season 3 DVD: this is a direct quote from channel 13 (where the states are playing Sherlock) & must relate to the DVD b'c I can't imagine these things exist on their own:

Stay connected with Sherlock at Thirteen.org/Sherlock for:
• Full episodes steaming online (new episodes posted after they air Sunday nights).
• A Sherlockian Synopsis – – blow–by–blow investigative recaps of each episode posted after they air.
• Behind–the–scenes video clips – – cast and crew offer tantalizing insights on what you can expect in Season 3.
• Sherlock Giveaway – enter to win a DVD set of all three seasons of Sherlock!
• Unlocking Sherlock – – watch the full special online. Find out how writers Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss took Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's original adventures of the Victorian super-sleuth and transformed them into a worldwide sensation.

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!

*My oldest sister DID exactly that: read me The Lottery when I was around 6 and she was 10 or so; I'm pretty sure I understand Mycroft...


Edited at 2014-01-18 08:35 pm (UTC)
18th-Jan-2014 08:52 pm (UTC)
*speechless*

There's a lifetime of fic material between the lines of these. Younglings and apprentices will come to you and scrape at the monument of your endeavour.

:)
18th-Jan-2014 09:49 pm (UTC)
So, I wanted to send you a card or something for all your tremendous work & then I realized I would need an email & then I thought thru all those ramifications & how bizarre it would sound in order to get your email address (in this day & age) & also how much I ramble in my comments (which I'm sure is diagnosed somewhere by the AMA) & maybe you'd just prefer a more picturesque approach. Muchas gracias!! But muchas! (See, languages really aren't my specialty...) Oh & these are mostly Kurt from Glee b'c those are the icons I own...




18th-Jan-2014 10:00 pm (UTC) - Thank you
I am profoundly grateful for your transcripts. I am American, and I sometimes fail to catch what they're saying, even though our version of English is my native tongue. And having made transcripts before, I know just how difficult it can be to be sure you've got it right and how long it takes.

I was glad to see Sherlock coming back but puzzled as to how John and Mary know about Moriarty's reappearance. They're outside the car on an airfield--so how? I guess I'll have to wait for more clues.
19th-Jan-2014 11:26 am (UTC) - Re: Thank you
I don't think it's your American-ness that is the reason why you failed to catch what they're saying. When I did the Season 2 transcripts, I took two days off work each week and only worked on the transcripts in the evening for the rest of the week - and each time I posted the last part on Friday night. This time (with the exception of the first episode which I raced through), I struggled to get the last part up on Saturday - and yet I had been off work all week and worked pretty much every hour I was awake.

I know I'm two years older, and two years slower, and possibly two years deafer(!) but it was much harder work this time, and I had to repeatedly rewind lines to try and make out what people were saying. I'm not sure whether they were talking more quickly or simply not enunciating so clearly, but it was definitely more of a struggle to understand them.

As for how John and Mary knew about Moriarty, I'm assuming that in between the first scene, when Mycroft got out of the car, and the second one when they were talking about it, Mycroft either told them what was happening or showed them the TV in the car.
19th-Jan-2014 12:07 am (UTC)
Just transferred the final instalment into a Word file for convenience of use - my thanks, as ever - and my cat leapt on to the keyboard to type, in answer to Moriarty's final question, "YH///////////////l.l".

That had better be a no, Tabitha, or there will be no fancy biscuits for a while.
19th-Jan-2014 11:34 am (UTC)
Oh, I don't know. I think Tabitha summed it up quite nicely!
19th-Jan-2014 09:55 am (UTC)
Anonymous
Thank you so much - again! - for all the effort, dedication and time you and Team Ari put into this. It is really appreciated, especially by non-native speakers.

But I have a question. Maybe I forgot something, but what was that supposed to mean:

MYCROFT: Don’t be absurd. I am not given to outbursts of brotherly compassion.
(He looks down for a moment, then turns to Sir Edwin again.)
MYCROFT: You know what happened to the other one.
(Sir Edwin looks away, grimacing slightly. Mycroft turns to look out the window again.)

Another brother? Am I the only one confused by that? Or did I just get this wrong?

Anyway, thanks again for your great work! Lately I managed to define what makes your transcripts so special for me: not only do you describe all the little details and explain a lot of things that aren't understood by foreigners, you also put into words things that I just perceive on a rather subconscious level. I hope you know what I mean. And then, of course, your remarks in between. It's just great, I would say perfect.
19th-Jan-2014 11:15 am (UTC)
It certainly sounds like there is, or was, another brother, doesn't it? And you haven't missed anything - there has never been a reference to this brother before in the series.

That line might have been put in just to make the viewers go, "Oooh!" and have something to speculate about during the Hiatus. Personally, I wouldn't be at all surprised if the third Holmes brother turns out to be the Big Bad in Season 4!

And thank you so much for your incredibly nice comments. Your last paragraph brought tears to my eyes.
(no subject) - Anonymous - Expand
(no subject) - Anonymous - Expand
19th-Jan-2014 03:56 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for these transcripts. I hope you got some decent and definitely well-deserved sleep!

[Your transcriber breaks off for a bloody good cry, having torn her heart to pieces typing that last section.]
I feel your pain. I couldn't have put all these feelings into words.
19th-Jan-2014 04:05 pm (UTC)
ETA: Sadly(ish), there are no episode commentaries on the DVD. However, there are three DVD extras.
*limbers up fingers again*
So, yes, the typing continues ...


Are you friggin' kidding me?! Go right back to bed, young lady! You deserve a break after all your hard work...

(Kurt is more direct.)
19th-Jan-2014 05:33 pm (UTC)
Thank you thank you thank you so much! It is gorgeous!
And then the scripts for the documentaries, some of which I even could not find on the web. Thank you so much!
19th-Jan-2014 06:15 pm (UTC)
Thank you for all your excellent work! I'm Italian, and without your transcriptions I'd have lost many details of this superb series...
19th-Jan-2014 08:04 pm (UTC)
Thank you very, very much for all the time and effort you put into these transcripts! They are such a huge help!
20th-Jan-2014 02:03 am (UTC) - East Wind
Anonymous
ACD "His Last Bow" (published in 1917 but set in 1914), ends with Holmes' addressing Watson on the eve of the First World War:
"There's an east wind coming, Watson."
"I think not, Holmes. It is very warm."
"Good old Watson! You are the one fixed point in a changing age. There's an east wind coming all the same, such a wind as never blew on England yet. It will be cold and bitter, Watson, and a good many of us may wither before its blast. But it's God's own wind none the less, and a cleaner, better, stronger land will lie in the sunshine when the storm has cleared."
I would not demonize Mycroft. It will turn out to be something Readbeard style. I am pretty sure the tale about the East Wind was Marry Poppins. There it appears in the very beginning.
However, there are many other options: the Moomins, the Lord of the Rings etc. The Bible (Gen 41 and Ex 10 and 14) is the most frightening. :-)
24th-Jan-2014 07:30 am (UTC) - Re: East Wind
When the wind is in the North,
The skilful fisherman goes not forth.
When the wind is in the South,
It blows the hook to the fish's mouth.
When the wind is in the East,
'Tis good for neither man nor beast.
But when the wind is in the West,
Then it is the very best.


I can't remember where I read that.
RE: East Wind - Anonymous - Expand
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