For anyone struggling with the dialogue, here’s a quick transcript of the spoken words only. The trailer itself is widely available online.
Transcript by Ariane DeVere aka Callie Sullivan.(Last updated 10 July 2015)
MRS HUDSON: Mr Holmes, I do wish you’d let me know when you’re planning to come home. SHERLOCK: I hardly knew myself, Mrs Hudson. That’s the trouble with dismembered country squires – they’re notoriously difficult to schedule. ARCHIE: What’s in there? JOHN: Never mind. SHERLOCK (to the cabbie): Thank you. ARCHIE: Did you catch a murderer, Mr Holmes? SHERLOCK: Caught the murderer; still looking for the legs. Think we’ll call it a draw. MRS HUDSON: And I notice you’ve published another of your stories, Dr Watson. JOHN: Yes. Did you enjoy it? MRS HUDSON: No. JOHN: Oh? MRS HUDSON: I never enjoy them. JOHN: Why not? MRS HUDSON: Well, I never say anything, do I? According to you, I just show people up the stairs and serve you breakfasts. JOHN: Well, in the narrative, that is – broadly speaking – your function. MRS HUDSON: My what?! SHERLOCK: Don’t feel singled out, Mrs Hudson. I’m hardly in the dog one. JOHN: “The dog one”?! MRS HUDSON: I’m your landlady, not a plot device. JOHN (to Sherlock): Do you mean ‘The Hound of the Baskervilles’?! MRS HUDSON: You make the room so drab and dingy. JOHN: Oh, blame it on the illustrator. He’s out of control. I’ve had to grow this moustache just so people’ll recognise me.
A full list of episode transcripts, DVD commentary summaries/transcripts, and transcripts of the DVD special features can be found here.