Author: Ariane DeVere
Word count: 221 (+ a 221B Author’s Note)
Warnings/Tags: Humour. Smut. Oh, so much smut.
Summary: John regrets asking Sherlock to teach him some of his deduction techniques – until Sherlock delivers part of the lesson with which John can definitely get on board.
“You know my method, John. It is founded upon the observation of trifles.”
John already wished he hadn’t been so bored that he had asked Sherlock to try and teach him some of his powers of deduction. Instead of taking on the challenge of carefully and patiently explaining his talents to someone ‘ordinary’ like John, Sherlock hadn’t appeared to draw breath for the last four minutes, going into full lecture mode about how he carried out his work. John reckoned that he had understood one word in every sixteen.
But now John perked up. “Observation of trifles, you say,” he mused, then stood up and left the flat.
When he returned fifteen minutes later, Sherlock stared at what he was carrying, then his eyes lit up.
“Oh yes,” he breathed before following John to the bedroom.
Some hours later, tired, happy, and somewhat overdosed on jelly, sponge fingers, custard, whipped cream and huge amounts of hundreds & thousands, John reflected that buying a large trifle from the supermarket, then using Sherlock as a mobile spoon in order to consume it – especially by not using Sherlock’s hands, feet or mouth – was absolutely the best way to both observe and consume his favourite dessert. He looked forward to his second lesson when hopefully Sherlock would teach him all about the observation of blancmange.
The 221B Author’s note:
The opening line of this fic comes from the canonical The Boscombe Valley Mystery. I wouldn’t have known, but I’ve been reading a story by one of the greatest Sherlock fanfic writers, who I won’t name here in case she doesn’t wish to be associated with this silliness. She included Sherlock (seriously) thinking about “the importance of trifles” which sent me into a giggle-fit on the train and then inspired this nonsense.
Mmm, trifle. I miss a proper home-made one like Mum used to make. Shop-bought ones never get the custard right.
One recipe for proper trifle can be found here (other recipes are available). ‘Hundreds & thousands’ are quite incorrectly referred to as ‘sprinkles’ in some other countries.
I’ve started to write a longer fic: it’s buzzing round my head but reluctant to translate itself into sensible sentences. My regular readers may realise that this means it’ll be angsty and/or twisty, because those ones always take longer to make their way out of my brain.
However, I realised that so far I’d published sixty-eight Sherlock/Cabin Pressure fics, so whatever I published next would be the 69th. I have a dirty mind at the best of times, so decided that story #69 should definitely be smut.
Now, back to story number 70. *sniggers* Let’s see how many minds I can blow.